Do you feel that Canada should participate in the U.S. ballistic missile defence program?No matter that it's an unscientific survey. If you can show me a poll in any mainstream American media that shows 80% of respondents against anything military, I'll stay.
Yes 5306 votes (20%)
No 21347 votes (80%)
12.03.2004
why i prefer canada, reason number 35,264
Today's poll in the Toronto Globe And Mail:
12.02.2004
translation needed
What does anyone make of this column by Barbara Ehrenreich? I a huge fan of Ehrenreich's, always have been. (She's also a fellow union member.) I'm confused about what she's saying here.
Is she sarcastically deriding the idea of leaving the US because we find ourselves at such odds with the mainstream? She compares staying in the country of one's birth to staying in a bad marriage, and I can hardly imagine Barbara Ehrenreich advocating that.
However, this:
Is she sarcastically deriding the idea of leaving the US because we find ourselves at such odds with the mainstream? She compares staying in the country of one's birth to staying in a bad marriage, and I can hardly imagine Barbara Ehrenreich advocating that.
However, this:
Of course, some of your friends and family may choose to remain behind. There are people who take a somewhat inflexible view of "patriotism," just as there are people who never give up on their first, childish, seventh-grade object of infatuation. Perversely, these diehards think it's their RESPONSIBILITY to remain in their country of origin just as it becomes an international source of terror and a mockery of democratic governance. Whether out of masochism or misdirected altruism, they feel OBLIGED to stay and straighten things out.makes me wonder. Is she implying that progressives should stay and fight? That it's our obligation?
12.01.2004
11.28.2004
not one thin dime
In yesterday's mail, among the usual year-end solicitations for donations, I found a letter from our old friends the Democrats. It was printed upside down. (I'm not kidding. Upside down.)
Allan and I both immediately started ranting. "More?" I shouted. (Yes, shouted.) "You want more money? I haven't got any more money! I wasted all of it trying to elect that ASSHOLE John Kerry, who CONCEDED BEFORE THE VOTES WERE COUNTED!!" I think Allan's rant was along the lines of "Tell them to go fuck themselves!"
What chutzpah, asking for more money so soon. For that matter, what nerve showing their faces at all, ever. They couldn't even beat George W. Bush! Can you imagine anything lamer than that???
* * * *
Anyone recognize the title of this post?
Allan and I both immediately started ranting. "More?" I shouted. (Yes, shouted.) "You want more money? I haven't got any more money! I wasted all of it trying to elect that ASSHOLE John Kerry, who CONCEDED BEFORE THE VOTES WERE COUNTED!!" I think Allan's rant was along the lines of "Tell them to go fuck themselves!"
What chutzpah, asking for more money so soon. For that matter, what nerve showing their faces at all, ever. They couldn't even beat George W. Bush! Can you imagine anything lamer than that???
* * * *
Anyone recognize the title of this post?
subway blogger
With apologies to Alan, Handheld Evangelist, who has already read this in an email.
On my way to work today, I was reminded of another wonderful use for my iPAQ.
I always carry a small memo book and pen with me, no matter where I am or where I'm going. I've done this for as long as I can remember; when I was younger, I would forget at my peril. I can't count how many little spiral memo pads I've bought in how many drugstores in how many cities...
Someone once told me that writing in public is pretentious, but when I'm working on something, thoughts and solutions to writing dilemmas usually come to me when I'm away from my work - that is, not at a computer. So I must always have a way to write things down.
These days I often compose blog posts on the subway, scribbling in a memo book, then typing and editing when I get to a computer. It's one of the few things for which I still use pen and paper.
I was writing just such a blog post on the subway this morning when I realized that soon I will be able to type and save it instead! I can blog in pocket Word, then post whenever I'm able to get online. My handheld computer will be a huge time- and effort-saver for this use alone.
If you're curious about what I'm blathering about, the handheld PC that I'm waiting for is here. The biggest selling point of this model, for me, is the keyboard.
Stay tuned for more equally exciting posts about My Little Computer.
On my way to work today, I was reminded of another wonderful use for my iPAQ.
I always carry a small memo book and pen with me, no matter where I am or where I'm going. I've done this for as long as I can remember; when I was younger, I would forget at my peril. I can't count how many little spiral memo pads I've bought in how many drugstores in how many cities...
Someone once told me that writing in public is pretentious, but when I'm working on something, thoughts and solutions to writing dilemmas usually come to me when I'm away from my work - that is, not at a computer. So I must always have a way to write things down.
These days I often compose blog posts on the subway, scribbling in a memo book, then typing and editing when I get to a computer. It's one of the few things for which I still use pen and paper.
I was writing just such a blog post on the subway this morning when I realized that soon I will be able to type and save it instead! I can blog in pocket Word, then post whenever I'm able to get online. My handheld computer will be a huge time- and effort-saver for this use alone.
If you're curious about what I'm blathering about, the handheld PC that I'm waiting for is here. The biggest selling point of this model, for me, is the keyboard.
Stay tuned for more equally exciting posts about My Little Computer.
a year to say goodbye, part 2
Now that baseball and the election are over, I can turn my attention back to my long farewell.
MOMA has reopened after its renovation and extended stay in Queens, and as much as I feel the new $20 admission fee is outrageous, I must spend a day there before I leave. I want to see the new space and take a MOMA's Greatest Hits tour.
My mother wants to do another No. 7 Train Food Expedition with us, which is a good excuse to see the New York City panorama again. I still haven't been to the Noguchi Museum, though not for lack of trying (note to self: closed Mondays and Tuesdays! got that??), and some assorted old houses.
I know I'll never see everything, and that's the way it should be. That's what makes it New York. I just want to keep exploring while I'm here.
MOMA has reopened after its renovation and extended stay in Queens, and as much as I feel the new $20 admission fee is outrageous, I must spend a day there before I leave. I want to see the new space and take a MOMA's Greatest Hits tour.
My mother wants to do another No. 7 Train Food Expedition with us, which is a good excuse to see the New York City panorama again. I still haven't been to the Noguchi Museum, though not for lack of trying (note to self: closed Mondays and Tuesdays! got that??), and some assorted old houses.
I know I'll never see everything, and that's the way it should be. That's what makes it New York. I just want to keep exploring while I'm here.
what i'm reading: devil in the white city by erik larson
The Devil In The White City - Murder, Magic, and Madness At The Fair That Changed America, by Erik Larson
This true (nonfiction) story takes place in Chicago in the 1890's, before and during the Great Columbian Exposition, an exhibition on a scale incomprehensible in today's world. It focuses on two men: Daniel Burnham, one of the greatest architects of the era (he designed the wonderful Flatiron Building, among many others), and a man known by the pseudonym H. H. Holmes, one of the most prolific serial murderers in recorded history.
I'm enjoying it very much. Having read easily a dozen (probably more) historical novels that take place in 19th Century New York City, I'm finding the Chicago backdrop new and intriguing. I love architecture, and I love cities, and my fascination with the 19th Century in general goes back to one of my earliest book-loves: Dickens, then other Victorian writers. I don't share many people's fascinations with serial killers, but if you're into that, there are plenty of gory details.
If you're reluctant to read history or nonfiction in general, this book would be an excellent introduction. It's written in a lively narrative style - that is, like a novel - although Larson's historical accuracy is said to be beyond reproach.
The story is framed by these two interlocking quotes:
Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood.
Daniel H. Burnham, 1893
I was born with the devil in me. I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than the poet can help the inspiration to sing.
Dr. H. H. Holmes, 1896
This true (nonfiction) story takes place in Chicago in the 1890's, before and during the Great Columbian Exposition, an exhibition on a scale incomprehensible in today's world. It focuses on two men: Daniel Burnham, one of the greatest architects of the era (he designed the wonderful Flatiron Building, among many others), and a man known by the pseudonym H. H. Holmes, one of the most prolific serial murderers in recorded history.
I'm enjoying it very much. Having read easily a dozen (probably more) historical novels that take place in 19th Century New York City, I'm finding the Chicago backdrop new and intriguing. I love architecture, and I love cities, and my fascination with the 19th Century in general goes back to one of my earliest book-loves: Dickens, then other Victorian writers. I don't share many people's fascinations with serial killers, but if you're into that, there are plenty of gory details.
If you're reluctant to read history or nonfiction in general, this book would be an excellent introduction. It's written in a lively narrative style - that is, like a novel - although Larson's historical accuracy is said to be beyond reproach.
The story is framed by these two interlocking quotes:
Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood.
Daniel H. Burnham, 1893
I was born with the devil in me. I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than the poet can help the inspiration to sing.
Dr. H. H. Holmes, 1896
11.27.2004
arabic for vietnam
I haven't taken off my anti-Bush button, and don't intend to. But I replaced the "Bring Back Complete Sentences" Kerry button on my backpack with this.
I'm sure some historian out there can list five reasons why the war in Iraq is not equivalent to the Vietnam War. But let's see what we got here. A war being fought on a foreign land, in a culture the US doesn't understand, purportedly to stop an Evil (substitute terrorism for communism), but actually to control and profit from that nation's resources, and to install a government friendly to American business interests. A war that was started under false pretenses (substitute WMDs for Gulf of Tonkin incident), against a people we utterly underestimate, as American involvement escalates and the situation grows increasingly untenable.
Close enough for me.
Remember: we stopped that war and we can stop this one. Now that the election is over, we must take to the streets, both literally and metaphorically, to stop this madness.
I'm sure some historian out there can list five reasons why the war in Iraq is not equivalent to the Vietnam War. But let's see what we got here. A war being fought on a foreign land, in a culture the US doesn't understand, purportedly to stop an Evil (substitute terrorism for communism), but actually to control and profit from that nation's resources, and to install a government friendly to American business interests. A war that was started under false pretenses (substitute WMDs for Gulf of Tonkin incident), against a people we utterly underestimate, as American involvement escalates and the situation grows increasingly untenable.
Close enough for me.
Remember: we stopped that war and we can stop this one. Now that the election is over, we must take to the streets, both literally and metaphorically, to stop this madness.
11.24.2004
better buster news
I hope these "what I did today" posts aren't going to turn off new readers who are here to learn about emigrating to Canada. One purpose of this blog is for ease of keeping in touch with friends and family after the move, and I'm finding it's very good for doing so before we move, too.
At last, some progress. This has been a difficult week, dealing with Buster's eye problems. We had our follow-up appointment on Monday, and were very disappointed to learn that after all these weeks of all kinds of medications, there was only minimal improvement.
We had to go back the following day, so the doctor could try a different medication. The plan was for her to administer the new med, then we would wait around and/or walk Buster for an extended period of time, then the doc could take another look to see if this very strong and very expensive medication worked. (We could have done this on Monday, but it was late and we had to get the car back.) This threatened to be a little stressful, since we can't take Buster to a park or dog-run, so extended waiting-around time with him could be difficult.
But fortunately on Tuesday, we finally had some good news: the eye pressure dropped into the normal range for the first time! Yay. Even the waiting time wasn't so bad - the doctor only needed about an hour and we had a nice, long walk.
And so we've added yet another medication to the regimen, which brings his daily total to six - two for anti-anxiety/anti-craziness, four for his eyes (3 eyedrops, 1 oral). After our next appointment, the doc hopes to reduce the eye regimen considerably. I am very relieved!
My iPAQ is coming! Thanks to the help and support of my friend Alan (note the single L; this is Alan, not Allan), I have purchased a wonderful "pocket PC", the HP iPAQ 4350. It's back-ordered, so while I wait for it to arrive, I'm working on preparing the data in my desktop for easy transfer and sync'ing. It's a big project, a bit of a learning curve, but I am so psyched about it.
This is something I've wanted for years. I've had electronic organizers, but this has much greater capabilities, including wireless internet, pocket versions of Word, Excel, Outlook, and Reader (e-books!! end of shoulder pain from carrying heavy books!) and it syncs with another computer wirelessly. I am totally psyched and can't wait to be up and running. Did I mention I was excited about this?
At last, some progress. This has been a difficult week, dealing with Buster's eye problems. We had our follow-up appointment on Monday, and were very disappointed to learn that after all these weeks of all kinds of medications, there was only minimal improvement.
We had to go back the following day, so the doctor could try a different medication. The plan was for her to administer the new med, then we would wait around and/or walk Buster for an extended period of time, then the doc could take another look to see if this very strong and very expensive medication worked. (We could have done this on Monday, but it was late and we had to get the car back.) This threatened to be a little stressful, since we can't take Buster to a park or dog-run, so extended waiting-around time with him could be difficult.
But fortunately on Tuesday, we finally had some good news: the eye pressure dropped into the normal range for the first time! Yay. Even the waiting time wasn't so bad - the doctor only needed about an hour and we had a nice, long walk.
And so we've added yet another medication to the regimen, which brings his daily total to six - two for anti-anxiety/anti-craziness, four for his eyes (3 eyedrops, 1 oral). After our next appointment, the doc hopes to reduce the eye regimen considerably. I am very relieved!
My iPAQ is coming! Thanks to the help and support of my friend Alan (note the single L; this is Alan, not Allan), I have purchased a wonderful "pocket PC", the HP iPAQ 4350. It's back-ordered, so while I wait for it to arrive, I'm working on preparing the data in my desktop for easy transfer and sync'ing. It's a big project, a bit of a learning curve, but I am so psyched about it.
This is something I've wanted for years. I've had electronic organizers, but this has much greater capabilities, including wireless internet, pocket versions of Word, Excel, Outlook, and Reader (e-books!! end of shoulder pain from carrying heavy books!) and it syncs with another computer wirelessly. I am totally psyched and can't wait to be up and running. Did I mention I was excited about this?
11.23.2004
what i'm doing
Boring what-I-did-today post alert.
Mostly trying to save Buster's vision. Multiple trips to the eye-doctor vet, with minimal improvement. Lots of time and money, though joining Zipcar has helped cut down on the stress. (Try to travel by cabs with a pit bull - not fun!) We had been waiting for Zipcar to get a car in our immediate neighborhood before we joined, but now that we need a car more frequently, we'll settle for a short subway ride. Poor B! I'm trying to stay in the present, not think too far ahead and get caught up in worrying...
Last week we went to the funeral of one of my great aunts. She was old and didn't suffer. This leaves one surviving sister, of the five siblings (one of whom was my grandmother). We always wondered who would be last.
My wonderful niece (one of my many wonderful nieces and nephews) who was in rehab for depression is doing much better, thanks to the miracle of anti-depressant medications and her amazing mother. We are greatly relieved. We love her so much!
Mostly trying to save Buster's vision. Multiple trips to the eye-doctor vet, with minimal improvement. Lots of time and money, though joining Zipcar has helped cut down on the stress. (Try to travel by cabs with a pit bull - not fun!) We had been waiting for Zipcar to get a car in our immediate neighborhood before we joined, but now that we need a car more frequently, we'll settle for a short subway ride. Poor B! I'm trying to stay in the present, not think too far ahead and get caught up in worrying...
Last week we went to the funeral of one of my great aunts. She was old and didn't suffer. This leaves one surviving sister, of the five siblings (one of whom was my grandmother). We always wondered who would be last.
My wonderful niece (one of my many wonderful nieces and nephews) who was in rehab for depression is doing much better, thanks to the miracle of anti-depressant medications and her amazing mother. We are greatly relieved. We love her so much!
11.20.2004
please, canada... please??
A columnist for the Toronto Star has a great idea. When W visits Ottawa this year, the Canadians can indict him as a war criminal. As Jewish grandmothers everywhere say, You should live so long.
11.16.2004
kids on wheels update
It's out!!! The book came in the mail yesterday and it looks GREAT!
Kids On Wheels is the first book of its kind - a book about the wheelchair life written specifically for young people. I wrote the sports & recreation chapter, plus some profiles of cool young wheelers. The work combined two specialties of mine - disability issues and writing for young people - and I was very proud to be a part of it.
If the book is successful, it will be spun off into a magazine, and I'll be a regular contributor or editor. So if you know any young wheelers, tell them to tune in!
Kids On Wheels is the first book of its kind - a book about the wheelchair life written specifically for young people. I wrote the sports & recreation chapter, plus some profiles of cool young wheelers. The work combined two specialties of mine - disability issues and writing for young people - and I was very proud to be a part of it.
If the book is successful, it will be spun off into a magazine, and I'll be a regular contributor or editor. So if you know any young wheelers, tell them to tune in!
the second visit
We're planning our next fact-finding mission to the Toronto area. Last time we flew JetBlue to Buffalo, which saved a lot of money and wasn't too inconvenient. But now I see that Air Canada has very low fares from Newark to Pearson, so we can save money and time, even better. Toronto Pearson airport (as opposed to the airport in downtown Toronto) is very convenient to where we think we'll be living. I get the feeling that the airport was once in the middle of nowhere and Mississauga sprawled out to meet it.
We probably won't even go into Toronto proper this time, or if we do, just for one evening to have dinner with friends. We're going to stay in Mississauga - since the airport is there, there are plenty of hotels - and focus on looking at apartments out there.
I have a whole bunch of addresses and phone numbers from my internet research. Our goal is to see a lot of places and come home with a good idea of where we want to live. Then, one bright and shining day when our application is approved, we'll contact the building agents and see what's available. That's the plan, anyway.
We probably won't even go into Toronto proper this time, or if we do, just for one evening to have dinner with friends. We're going to stay in Mississauga - since the airport is there, there are plenty of hotels - and focus on looking at apartments out there.
I have a whole bunch of addresses and phone numbers from my internet research. Our goal is to see a lot of places and come home with a good idea of where we want to live. Then, one bright and shining day when our application is approved, we'll contact the building agents and see what's available. That's the plan, anyway.
howard zinn, my hero
You know I've been quoting Howard Zinn for the last few weeks. I finished the book yesterday, and I want to recommend it to everyone.
Zinn is a historian, activist, writer, speaker. He's most famous for writing A People's History of the United States, which is American history from the point of view of Native Americans, slaves, women, working people, poor people - a kind of reverse history. He's also one of my big heroes.
You Can't Be Neutral On A Moving Train is Zinn's memoirs as a civil rights and peace activist in the 1950s, 60s and 70s. He fought in WWII, and his experiences in that war helped shape him into an anti-war activist.
The book is largely about activism - how any small action we can take is significant and worthwhile, how our actions can't be judged by immediate results, but are cumulative.
Zinn is also an incurable optimist. He has tremendous hope and spirit, and makes me feel proud just to march alongside him (metaphorically speaking).
For me Moving Train was the perfect antidote to the helplessness, depression, even despair I felt from this election. It lifted my spirits so much. It's short, easy to read - and you might be similarly inspired!
Zinn is a historian, activist, writer, speaker. He's most famous for writing A People's History of the United States, which is American history from the point of view of Native Americans, slaves, women, working people, poor people - a kind of reverse history. He's also one of my big heroes.
You Can't Be Neutral On A Moving Train is Zinn's memoirs as a civil rights and peace activist in the 1950s, 60s and 70s. He fought in WWII, and his experiences in that war helped shape him into an anti-war activist.
The book is largely about activism - how any small action we can take is significant and worthwhile, how our actions can't be judged by immediate results, but are cumulative.
Zinn is also an incurable optimist. He has tremendous hope and spirit, and makes me feel proud just to march alongside him (metaphorically speaking).
For me Moving Train was the perfect antidote to the helplessness, depression, even despair I felt from this election. It lifted my spirits so much. It's short, easy to read - and you might be similarly inspired!
11.14.2004
howard zinn says...
"What the [US civil rights] movement proved, however, is that even if people lack the customary attributes of power -- money, political authority, physical force -- as did the black people of the Deep South, there is a power that can be created out of pent-up indignation, courage, and the inspiration of a common cause, and that if enough people put their minds and bodies into that cause, they can win. It is a phenomenon recorded again and again in the history of the popular movements against injustice all over the world.
. . .
When that might happen is uncertain. If that can happen is also uncertain. But not to believe in the possibility of dramatic change is to forget that things have changed, not enough, of course, but enough to show what is possible. We have been surprised before in history. We can be surprised again. Indeed, we can do the surprising."
Howard Zinn, from You Can't Be Neutral On A Moving Train, A Personal History Of Our Times
. . .
When that might happen is uncertain. If that can happen is also uncertain. But not to believe in the possibility of dramatic change is to forget that things have changed, not enough, of course, but enough to show what is possible. We have been surprised before in history. We can be surprised again. Indeed, we can do the surprising."
Howard Zinn, from You Can't Be Neutral On A Moving Train, A Personal History Of Our Times
is your peace showing?
11.13.2004
people yelling at each other
Yes, yes, I know you'll help me pack. I'm not asking you to miss me. You've taken over the country. What more do you want?
Wandering around the internet today, I sampled a tiny taste of the bitter online political sniping that litters the net. From this election blog, I read comments posted by right-wingers, and found the right's silly response to the global apology website. And on from there.
Right-wingers have been emailing me, trying to bait me into arguments that I'm utterly uninterested in having. Apparently they are all about eight years old, as that's the last time I heard "What are you, chicken?" used effectively.
It's difficult for me to understand why people waste their time on this kind of thing. No one is listening to each other, so no one is even coming close to making her/his point of view heard in any constructive way. Anyone with enough of an opinion to bother posting online probably feels pretty strongly about her/his beliefs. It's not a debate. It's just a shouting match.
I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything. I do try to move like-minded citizens to action, as I think political action is important. I do try to educate, and hope others do the same for me. I will occasionally discuss a specific issue with someone who seems to have an open mind. A co-worker who reads this blog thanked me for making him think more about the war against Iraq. That might have been my greatest accomplishment of the year. (So it's been a slow year.)
But why would I want to waste my valuable time and energy screaming back and forth with people whose ideas repulse me, and who feel the same about me?
Wandering around the internet today, I sampled a tiny taste of the bitter online political sniping that litters the net. From this election blog, I read comments posted by right-wingers, and found the right's silly response to the global apology website. And on from there.
Right-wingers have been emailing me, trying to bait me into arguments that I'm utterly uninterested in having. Apparently they are all about eight years old, as that's the last time I heard "What are you, chicken?" used effectively.
It's difficult for me to understand why people waste their time on this kind of thing. No one is listening to each other, so no one is even coming close to making her/his point of view heard in any constructive way. Anyone with enough of an opinion to bother posting online probably feels pretty strongly about her/his beliefs. It's not a debate. It's just a shouting match.
I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything. I do try to move like-minded citizens to action, as I think political action is important. I do try to educate, and hope others do the same for me. I will occasionally discuss a specific issue with someone who seems to have an open mind. A co-worker who reads this blog thanked me for making him think more about the war against Iraq. That might have been my greatest accomplishment of the year. (So it's been a slow year.)
But why would I want to waste my valuable time and energy screaming back and forth with people whose ideas repulse me, and who feel the same about me?
where they're coming from, where they're going
From the Monitor, the official publication of Citizenship and Immigration Canada:
Immigrant levels increased by 20% compared to the first quarter of 2003. Canada took in 54,889 permanent residents between January and March 2004 . . .The United States ranks fifth on the list of source countries, moving up a notch in the rankings with an increase of 35% in the first quarter of 2004 as compared with the same period in 2003. Last year, 5,990 Americans received Permanent Residence status in Canada.
Source Countries
Canada saw an increase in the number of immigrants from each of the top ten countries of origin in the first quarter. China showed no sign of giving up its place as the leading source country, contributing 9,373 new permanent residents in the first quarter . . . India, which ranked second, was far behind, with 5,028 new landings. Its rank as the second largest source country remained unchanged. The Philippines was the third leading source country, with 3,108 landings. . . .
Destination
All provinces increased their intake of new immigrants in the first quarter. The number of immigrants to Canada’s most popular immigrant destinations — Ontario and British Columbia — increased at less than the national rate of 20%. . . . The provinces that increased their intake of immigrants beyond the national average included Newfoundland, Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, Quebec, Manitoba and Alberta. . . .
free advice
Many people have been asking me for tips and pointers about emigrating. I can only speak to the parts of the process I've experienced so far - filing the application, and getting information about jobs and apartments in the Toronto area.
But since you asked, here goes.
1. Go to the CIC website and read EVERYTHING. Take your time. Study it. Find out what category (if any) you fall under and what is required to emigrate in that category.
2. Download the application and instructions for your category. Study them.
3. Study them some more.
4. If you decide to apply, fill out the form super-carefully, preferably with someone else double-checking your work. The slightest error will get the application kicked back to you, and you'll have to resubmit it, going back to the very end of the queue.
5. You might want to consider borrowing some money. You must show "proof of funds" when you submit your application. However, your application will take at least six months to be processed, probably closer to a year or more. If you don't have the required funds (about $10,000 for a single Skilled Worker class application), but can earn it or save it while you're waiting, you might want to do what we did: borrow the money, deposit it in your bank account so you have the required proof, then pay back the loan while your application is in the queue. We borrowed the money from ourselves by taking a cash advance from our friend Mr. Visa.
6. Be patient. This process takes a long time. But then, it's a huge change. It doesn't need to happen overnight.
7. If you have more specific questions about photos, fingerprints, language proficiency, the medical exam, the point system, or anything else on the application, I suggest first reading the instructions very thoroughly, then if you still have questions, emailing me.
8. I highly recommend visiting the Canadian city or province of your choice on a fact-finding mission. Talk to people in your field about job prospects; email them in advance to set up appointments if possible. Check out apartments through a local newspaper and through websites like these.
Good luck!
But since you asked, here goes.
1. Go to the CIC website and read EVERYTHING. Take your time. Study it. Find out what category (if any) you fall under and what is required to emigrate in that category.
2. Download the application and instructions for your category. Study them.
3. Study them some more.
4. If you decide to apply, fill out the form super-carefully, preferably with someone else double-checking your work. The slightest error will get the application kicked back to you, and you'll have to resubmit it, going back to the very end of the queue.
5. You might want to consider borrowing some money. You must show "proof of funds" when you submit your application. However, your application will take at least six months to be processed, probably closer to a year or more. If you don't have the required funds (about $10,000 for a single Skilled Worker class application), but can earn it or save it while you're waiting, you might want to do what we did: borrow the money, deposit it in your bank account so you have the required proof, then pay back the loan while your application is in the queue. We borrowed the money from ourselves by taking a cash advance from our friend Mr. Visa.
6. Be patient. This process takes a long time. But then, it's a huge change. It doesn't need to happen overnight.
7. If you have more specific questions about photos, fingerprints, language proficiency, the medical exam, the point system, or anything else on the application, I suggest first reading the instructions very thoroughly, then if you still have questions, emailing me.
8. I highly recommend visiting the Canadian city or province of your choice on a fact-finding mission. Talk to people in your field about job prospects; email them in advance to set up appointments if possible. Check out apartments through a local newspaper and through websites like these.
Good luck!
what i'm reading: pat barker, howard zinn, erik larson
I finished Pat Barker's Border Crossing, which was strangely similar to her Double Vision. Both are good, but The Regeneration Trilogy is clearly her masterpiece (so far), so if you want to discover her writing, I'd stick with that.
I'm still reading Howard Zinn's memoir, You Can't Be Neutral On A Moving Train. It was perfect timing on this one, as Zinn's indefatigable fighting spirit and optimism are the perfect post-election antidote.
And I'll soon start Devil In The White City, by Erik Larson, about the 1893 Exposition in Chicago. It sounds like great history, I'm looking forward to it.
I'm still reading Howard Zinn's memoir, You Can't Be Neutral On A Moving Train. It was perfect timing on this one, as Zinn's indefatigable fighting spirit and optimism are the perfect post-election antidote.
And I'll soon start Devil In The White City, by Erik Larson, about the 1893 Exposition in Chicago. It sounds like great history, I'm looking forward to it.
welcome to new york. now please go home.
I hate tourists. I HATE THEM!
My day-job is located in the most heavily touristed part of Manhattan. From early November until after New Year's day, it's impossible to go outside. The sidewalks are literally impassable, clogged with slow-moving, slack-jawed, pink-clad, camcorder-toting hordes, walking five abreast on the sidewalk, allowing their children to run wildly through the crowd, somehow talking loudly enough to make their presence inescapable above the din.
I know what you're thinking. Yes, I love to travel. Yes, technically that sometimes makes me a tourist. But I'm not talking about real travelers, explorers, people who want to dive into a city and discover what makes it tick. I encourage everyone to visit NYC, no matter what your budget. It is a strange and magical place.
But the annoying dolts waddling down our sidewalks are not travelers. They visit only the most famous attractions, the ones on their tour bus itinerary. They eat at the same chain restaurants they do in their hometown. They never stray off the very heavily beaten track. They're not interested in New York City; that would be too different. Too scary. They want the New York City Theme Park.
I know they're supposed to be good for the City. But can't they just deposit their money and go home?
My day-job is located in the most heavily touristed part of Manhattan. From early November until after New Year's day, it's impossible to go outside. The sidewalks are literally impassable, clogged with slow-moving, slack-jawed, pink-clad, camcorder-toting hordes, walking five abreast on the sidewalk, allowing their children to run wildly through the crowd, somehow talking loudly enough to make their presence inescapable above the din.
I know what you're thinking. Yes, I love to travel. Yes, technically that sometimes makes me a tourist. But I'm not talking about real travelers, explorers, people who want to dive into a city and discover what makes it tick. I encourage everyone to visit NYC, no matter what your budget. It is a strange and magical place.
But the annoying dolts waddling down our sidewalks are not travelers. They visit only the most famous attractions, the ones on their tour bus itinerary. They eat at the same chain restaurants they do in their hometown. They never stray off the very heavily beaten track. They're not interested in New York City; that would be too different. Too scary. They want the New York City Theme Park.
I know they're supposed to be good for the City. But can't they just deposit their money and go home?
you can take an american out of the u.s., but you can't...
In his comment below, CB writes, "I suspect that your impending relocation to Canada, while it will indeed take the two of you out of the country, will not take the country out of you."
That's a good point, one I often wonder about. When will I stop feeling like an American living in Canada and begin feeling Canada is my home? How long after moving? Will it ever happen? If I live in Canada for the rest of my life, and I'm lucky enough to have a long life, it should.
More importantly, when will I stop feeling like a New Yorker? That's an identity I wear pride, as opposed to my apologetic feelings about being American.
That's a good point, one I often wonder about. When will I stop feeling like an American living in Canada and begin feeling Canada is my home? How long after moving? Will it ever happen? If I live in Canada for the rest of my life, and I'm lucky enough to have a long life, it should.
More importantly, when will I stop feeling like a New Yorker? That's an identity I wear pride, as opposed to my apologetic feelings about being American.
11.12.2004
the anti-hero
Several people have said Allan and I are brave and courageous. Emigrating to another country without the kind of compelling incentive that typically causes people to emigrate - hunger, poverty, persecution, even (as one friend put it) a whirlwind romance - strikes many people as an act of courage.
I wish I could own up to that picture, because I admire moral courage more than any other attribute I can think of. But I don't feel the slightest bit brave. We're moving to another Western culture. Although Canada is blessedly different than the US, I probably won't feel as alien there as 99% of the people who move to New York City must, whether they come from Karachi or Kansas.
I'm not brave. I'm just fed up.
I wish I could own up to that picture, because I admire moral courage more than any other attribute I can think of. But I don't feel the slightest bit brave. We're moving to another Western culture. Although Canada is blessedly different than the US, I probably won't feel as alien there as 99% of the people who move to New York City must, whether they come from Karachi or Kansas.
I'm not brave. I'm just fed up.
get me out of here
I. Can't. Wait. To. Leave.
I mean no offense to the people here who I will miss. But I can't wait to leave this country.
Today's gag-inducing last straw (I have a last straw about every-other day) is the mainstream media's dismissal of concerns about election fraud. Ooo, it comes from the internet. This wacky place where wacky ideas are circulated. (Or is it that revolutionary new means of communication? Or that failed, boring place where people just shop and look at porn? I can't remember... which story template are we running today...?) As the mainstream media becomes less relevant, less in control of The Story, it derides and dismisses the competition.
With everything we know about the 2000 election, with everything we know about the vulnerability of electronic voting, and with everything we know about Republican dirty tricks to suppress registration and turnout - and with the so-called "most important election of our lifetimes" on the line - don't questions about the accuracy of the vote count need to be taken seriously and investigated???
Nope! We'll just dismiss them. They came from the internet. We found one expert who'll say they are nonsense. Case closed, bye-bye.
Bye-bye democracy.
Oh my god, I can't wait to get out of here.
I mean no offense to the people here who I will miss. But I can't wait to leave this country.
Today's gag-inducing last straw (I have a last straw about every-other day) is the mainstream media's dismissal of concerns about election fraud. Ooo, it comes from the internet. This wacky place where wacky ideas are circulated. (Or is it that revolutionary new means of communication? Or that failed, boring place where people just shop and look at porn? I can't remember... which story template are we running today...?) As the mainstream media becomes less relevant, less in control of The Story, it derides and dismisses the competition.
With everything we know about the 2000 election, with everything we know about the vulnerability of electronic voting, and with everything we know about Republican dirty tricks to suppress registration and turnout - and with the so-called "most important election of our lifetimes" on the line - don't questions about the accuracy of the vote count need to be taken seriously and investigated???
Nope! We'll just dismiss them. They came from the internet. We found one expert who'll say they are nonsense. Case closed, bye-bye.
Bye-bye democracy.
Oh my god, I can't wait to get out of here.
11.11.2004
others follow in our wake
Everywhere I look there are stories about Americans moving to Canada. Here's the one from the reporter who was looking for gay folks to speak to. A few days earlier, another Globe and Mail story started like this:
In response to the Globe & Mail article, my friend BC in Toronto lamented:
Either way, BC is certainly right. It's Canada's gain and the US's loss. As far as leaving the US in the clutches of the right wing, that's been happening for 20+ years, and - as we know - has been escalating sharply of late. Hence our plans.
Several people sent me Dan Savage's current column. (At least he's not blaming Ralph Nader anymore!) And there was this facetious view from Slate. I'm not a fan myself, but it's interesting how it's making the rounds.Huddled masses yearn to breathe free -- up north
By JOHN ALLEMANG
Saturday, November 6, 2004, Page F2Two days after the U.S. election confirmed her worst fears about the state of her country, Dawn Woodward and her husband were busy filling out the forms that could turn them into Canadians.
In response to the Globe & Mail article, my friend BC in Toronto lamented:
Obviously, our gain and USA's loss, just as in the case of you and Allan. However, I can't help but worry about a drain of vocal, intelligent, talented people from the US who will no longer be there to fight for same-sex rel rights or other good fights. In your specific case, totally understand the choice. But a wholesale gay immigration could leave the US forever in the clutches of the right wing asses...Personally, I don't think there's much danger of that. Most people are too comfortable in their lives to uproot themselves. I think the percentage of people saying "I'm moving to Canada!" who will actually go will remain fairly small. But that's just my perception, it could be way off. Perhaps gay flight will equal or top the number of Americans who fled to Canada to avoid killing or being killed in the jungles of Southeast Asia.
Either way, BC is certainly right. It's Canada's gain and the US's loss. As far as leaving the US in the clutches of the right wing, that's been happening for 20+ years, and - as we know - has been escalating sharply of late. Hence our plans.
11.09.2004
i'm not a democrat, either
I've been getting comments and email from right-wingers who mistakenly assume I am leaving the country because Bush was elected. Allow me to clarify.
We made our decision to emigrate in July 2003, and filed our applications in early 2004. The applications cost more than $2,500 and entailed quite a lot of work. We are not wealthy people who can drop thousands of dollars on a "what-if". In other words, we were planning on leaving no matter who was elected.
I wanted Bush to lose more than I've wanted anything in a recent memory. It was incredibly important to me to defeat his administration and I'm heartbroken that it didn't happen. (And even more horrified that he probably didn't actually win the election!!)
I voted for Kerry, but I'm not a Democrat. They are clearly the better choice, but they are also, in my opinion, clearly part of the problem.
I'm not your garden-variety liberal. I am what's known as a progressive. My politics fall several steps to the left of most Democrats. (Unless the Democrat is Joe Lieberman, then they fall several miles to the left.)
The system is bankrupt. The entrenched two-party system, the corporate stranglehold, the multi-million dollar campaigns, the lobbying, the antiquated electoral college and the corporate-controlled media - they all conspire to kill democracy. Add to that the ascendancy of the religious right - the war on women, gay people, the working class, the environment, education, science... it's a long list. I want out.
Please stop writing to tell me how John Kerry is not worth abandoning my country for. This hasn't felt like my country for a long time.
We made our decision to emigrate in July 2003, and filed our applications in early 2004. The applications cost more than $2,500 and entailed quite a lot of work. We are not wealthy people who can drop thousands of dollars on a "what-if". In other words, we were planning on leaving no matter who was elected.
I wanted Bush to lose more than I've wanted anything in a recent memory. It was incredibly important to me to defeat his administration and I'm heartbroken that it didn't happen. (And even more horrified that he probably didn't actually win the election!!)
I voted for Kerry, but I'm not a Democrat. They are clearly the better choice, but they are also, in my opinion, clearly part of the problem.
I'm not your garden-variety liberal. I am what's known as a progressive. My politics fall several steps to the left of most Democrats. (Unless the Democrat is Joe Lieberman, then they fall several miles to the left.)
The system is bankrupt. The entrenched two-party system, the corporate stranglehold, the multi-million dollar campaigns, the lobbying, the antiquated electoral college and the corporate-controlled media - they all conspire to kill democracy. Add to that the ascendancy of the religious right - the war on women, gay people, the working class, the environment, education, science... it's a long list. I want out.
Please stop writing to tell me how John Kerry is not worth abandoning my country for. This hasn't felt like my country for a long time.
calling all queers
I received this through the grapevine today:
My friend who sent the request asked me to say that "Immigration Equality, a lesbian and gay rights advocacy group, is working hard on the anti-queer inequities of American immigration law".
Hello, I am a journalist at the Globe and Mail, a newspaper in Toronto, Canada. I am interested in speaking with gay Americans who want to immigrate to Canada, following the US election and the increasingly conservative position of the US government (and some state governments) on gay rights and other social issues. I would greatly appreciate it if you could contact me about this.Please email me privately for the reporter's contact info.
My friend who sent the request asked me to say that "Immigration Equality, a lesbian and gay rights advocacy group, is working hard on the anti-queer inequities of American immigration law".
11.07.2004
the 51st state
Before the election, my friend Spencer remarked that if Bush won, it was time for NYC to secede from the United States, as moving to Canada is so complicated. Now Spencer writes:
For more on secession, read this excellent story.
Still in post-election soul-searching. How far am I willing to go to win this country back? Far enough to talk about religion? about family values? About moral certainty, absolute truth? How much am I willing, really, to forgo my beloved liberal "nuance" in order to win over the center?I love that analogy.
How much do I really want to win this country back? I feel like it's a bit like that hardbody contest in Texas, where people have to stand with their hand on a huge pickup truck for days and the last one to let go wins the truck. In the end, it's still a gas-guzzling monstrosity for which I have little use, and unless I can transform it somehow into a metrocard it's really just a liability. If this country is as full of idiots as it would appear, then its prospects for transformation seem dim.
Secession is really the best policy I think. We could do without the red states, and we can solve the problem of landfill space by expanding battery park. After all, we'll have to support a huge refugee population from San Francisco.
For more on secession, read this excellent story.
11.06.2004
reverse immigration
Why is emigrating from the US considered such a radical thing to do? Why does it dismay or even infuriate so many people that an American would consider leaving?
We readily accept people moving to the US from just about anywhere else. No one thinks immigrants have deserted or abandoned Russia, India, Ireland or the Dominican Republic. (No Americans, anyway.)
That must be a clue. We think of the US as someplace people move to, in search of a better life. We grow up hearing that the US is the greatest country in the world - and so many Americans believe it. The idea that anyplace could actually be better is simply unthinkable.
Guess what? People also emigrate to Canada - in droves. They come from all over the world, looking for the same things as immigrants to the US, plus greater tolerance, the guarantee of health care, a burgeoning economy that welcomes immigrants, and a generally more humane way of life.
We readily accept people moving to the US from just about anywhere else. No one thinks immigrants have deserted or abandoned Russia, India, Ireland or the Dominican Republic. (No Americans, anyway.)
That must be a clue. We think of the US as someplace people move to, in search of a better life. We grow up hearing that the US is the greatest country in the world - and so many Americans believe it. The idea that anyplace could actually be better is simply unthinkable.
Guess what? People also emigrate to Canada - in droves. They come from all over the world, looking for the same things as immigrants to the US, plus greater tolerance, the guarantee of health care, a burgeoning economy that welcomes immigrants, and a generally more humane way of life.
post-election funk
I gotta get it together. Research and buy the handheld PC. Go to the gym. Look for some writing work. Plan our next trip to look at apartments in Mississauga. Re-focus.
At the phone bank, people would always joke about "what was it I used to do before...?" and "what will I do when this is over... how can I not see you every day?" It was sweet. The camaraderie, the shared experience of working collectively towards a mutual goal, was very intense. We got attached to each other.
And it was the focal point of my life. The people I met through ACT who used all their vacation and sick days, drained their savings accounts, gave up their entire lives for the campaign... if I'm feeling so adrift, I can't imagine how they are feeling.
Meanwhile, back at the exit poll... It looks more and more like the election was stolen. We knew all along that it was a distinct possibility. Apparently it became reality. I'm not going to try to link to all the information about it. As always, go to Black Box Voting for the facts. Allan's blog might also be a good place to start.
Another American First. I often think we're looking at something historically new here: a dictatorship dressed up as a democracy. No tanks rolling down Fifth Avenue, no government mass rallies, no junta, no putsch. We retain party conventions, campaigns, voting booths - but it's like a backlot movie set, a facade of props. The US democracy has been in trouble for a long time, controlled by corporate interests and a conglomerated media. But if voting is not legitimate, what makes it a democracy at all?
At the phone bank, people would always joke about "what was it I used to do before...?" and "what will I do when this is over... how can I not see you every day?" It was sweet. The camaraderie, the shared experience of working collectively towards a mutual goal, was very intense. We got attached to each other.
And it was the focal point of my life. The people I met through ACT who used all their vacation and sick days, drained their savings accounts, gave up their entire lives for the campaign... if I'm feeling so adrift, I can't imagine how they are feeling.
Meanwhile, back at the exit poll... It looks more and more like the election was stolen. We knew all along that it was a distinct possibility. Apparently it became reality. I'm not going to try to link to all the information about it. As always, go to Black Box Voting for the facts. Allan's blog might also be a good place to start.
Another American First. I often think we're looking at something historically new here: a dictatorship dressed up as a democracy. No tanks rolling down Fifth Avenue, no government mass rallies, no junta, no putsch. We retain party conventions, campaigns, voting booths - but it's like a backlot movie set, a facade of props. The US democracy has been in trouble for a long time, controlled by corporate interests and a conglomerated media. But if voting is not legitimate, what makes it a democracy at all?
no, the whole country lost
On my way to work today, a guy on the subway platform called out "Hey, your guy lost!" It took me a moment, but I realized he was looking at the anti-W button on my backpack (which I have no intention of removing). I guess he was one of the 16.7% of Manhattan voters who voted for Bush.
Amazingly, I actually thought of something to say on the spot, instead of 15 minutes later. My answer is the title of this entry.
We saw "Control Room" last night. I cannot wait until my tax dollars support national health insurance instead of this insane war.
Amazingly, I actually thought of something to say on the spot, instead of 15 minutes later. My answer is the title of this entry.
We saw "Control Room" last night. I cannot wait until my tax dollars support national health insurance instead of this insane war.
11.05.2004
following the north star
Runaway slaves fled to Canada. Vietnam draft resisters did the same. Today we honor the path they blazed.
According to this Reuters story, on an average day, about 20,000 people in the US log on to the Canadian immigration site. On Wednesday, November 3, that number "rocketed to 115,016". The following day, "the number of U.S. visits settled down to 65,803... still well above the norm."
Many people will be surprised by what a lengthy, expensive process it is to emigrate. Still, anything worth having is worth working for.
According to this Reuters story, on an average day, about 20,000 people in the US log on to the Canadian immigration site. On Wednesday, November 3, that number "rocketed to 115,016". The following day, "the number of U.S. visits settled down to 65,803... still well above the norm."
Many people will be surprised by what a lengthy, expensive process it is to emigrate. Still, anything worth having is worth working for.
what a relief
I am SOOOOOO happy that we made this decision and our applications are already in the queue!!!!
We had decided to leave no matter who won the election. But now... what a relief.
We had decided to leave no matter who won the election. But now... what a relief.
welcome/unwelcome new readers
I have a bunch of new readers!
Until very recently, I was keeping this blog private, only sending the link to friends and family who know about our impending BLC. I didn't want anyone at my day-job to know, except for my few friends there who I trust, and in general didn't feel ready to be public.
I'm not sure why, but the election changed that. Now I don't care who knows. Allan saw a thread at DU (his online political home) about moving to Canada, and I gave him permission to post my URL. Since then, several people have written to offer cheers and support, and a few to say my writing has given them hope. That makes me feel great.
You may also have noticed that I've gotten some comments from right-wingers. (I won't even link to them; if you're curious, you'll have to search.) This baffles me. I don't know about you, but I don't have anywhere near enough time to read things that further educate me about the things I believe in. Why waste time reading blather that you totally disagree with and that only makes you angry? I don't mean studying another educated, well-reasoned point of view. I mean the kind of purely personal politics of the sort I'm writing. Why do these people waste their time reading my drivel and then waste even more responding?
Perhaps they think they're gloating. Perhaps they just like to argue. Perhaps they are so deluded and un-self-aware that they think they have something important to say.
Even in my younger, more hotheaded days, when I never passed up a chance to debate, I didn't go out of my way to lock horns with the opposition. These days, I have as much interest in talking to those people as I do in voting for them. I'd like to help educate an open mind. And I'd like to help like-minded people take action. But I have no wish to battle my way through life by arguing with close-minded morons.
Allan wonders why I don't just delete these stupid wingnut comments, and I don't really have a good answer. If they get out of hand or blatantly offensive, I certainly will. For now, though, I'm content to include a stupid rant or two - especially since at this site, I'll always have the last word.
Until very recently, I was keeping this blog private, only sending the link to friends and family who know about our impending BLC. I didn't want anyone at my day-job to know, except for my few friends there who I trust, and in general didn't feel ready to be public.
I'm not sure why, but the election changed that. Now I don't care who knows. Allan saw a thread at DU (his online political home) about moving to Canada, and I gave him permission to post my URL. Since then, several people have written to offer cheers and support, and a few to say my writing has given them hope. That makes me feel great.
You may also have noticed that I've gotten some comments from right-wingers. (I won't even link to them; if you're curious, you'll have to search.) This baffles me. I don't know about you, but I don't have anywhere near enough time to read things that further educate me about the things I believe in. Why waste time reading blather that you totally disagree with and that only makes you angry? I don't mean studying another educated, well-reasoned point of view. I mean the kind of purely personal politics of the sort I'm writing. Why do these people waste their time reading my drivel and then waste even more responding?
Perhaps they think they're gloating. Perhaps they just like to argue. Perhaps they are so deluded and un-self-aware that they think they have something important to say.
Even in my younger, more hotheaded days, when I never passed up a chance to debate, I didn't go out of my way to lock horns with the opposition. These days, I have as much interest in talking to those people as I do in voting for them. I'd like to help educate an open mind. And I'd like to help like-minded people take action. But I have no wish to battle my way through life by arguing with close-minded morons.
Allan wonders why I don't just delete these stupid wingnut comments, and I don't really have a good answer. If they get out of hand or blatantly offensive, I certainly will. For now, though, I'm content to include a stupid rant or two - especially since at this site, I'll always have the last word.
11.04.2004
a telling typo
Allan just pointed out that in my previous post, I had written "a people divided will never be..." Of course that's supposed to be united. I corrected it. Yeesh.
11.03.2004
my election day
I woke up at 5:30 a.m., walked the dogs and arrived at the GOTV phone bank at 8:00. Most of the organizers and coordinators were already there. We got our marching orders and by 8:30 the volunteers starting arriving.
We had 100 phones going for 14.5 solid hours. We even had a system for floaters to sub in when callers took breaks, so we didn't lose any phone time. The tech staff said we were calling at a rate of 15,000 calls per hour. By the end of the night we had logged 275,000 calls.
We called registered Democrats in New Hampshire, Ohio, New Mexico and Oregon, mostly making sure people had voted, but also trouble-shooting and giving out phone numbers for voting problems. I arranged rides to the polls for three people, including an elderly woman in Ohio who desperately wanted to vote and feared she wouldn't be able to.
Mostly I did training - lots and lots of training. I trained groups of 5, or 10, or 20. I think I did 8 or maybe 10 sessions over the course of the day. In between training sessions, I'd help supervise the floor, walking around answering questions, helping volunteers, offering water, running around doing whatever needed to be done.
Allan arrived around 5:00 p.m. (wearing his B cap) and helped out with supervising and some phoning. I'm glad he got to see where I've been living for the past few months and meet the amazing people I've been working with.
The energy in the room was astounding. There were TVs on all over, and as the night went on, tension mounted, but there was so much hope.
When we finally cleared out the room and left at 11 p.m., people were gathering at various bars, but I was utterly exhausted and needed to be home. Lying on the couch, I felt nearly sick with exhaustion, my joints throbbing. Watching the returns was agonizing. At 2:30 a.m., nearing the 24-hour mark, I took a sleeping pill and went to bed.
This morning I saw the "breaking news" crawl on CNN and turned on the sound just in time to learn that Kerry was conceding. I ran into the bedroom. "Allan, wake up, wake up, Kerry is conceding. He's conceding!" and then I burst into tears. Watching the concession speech later in the day, I start to sob.
Today I am thinking of my comrades from the call center - June, Betsy and Kate, Ramon and Ann, and all the volunteers I've come to know over these months, people like Alex and Bob and Bruce and Bill and Rita and . . . Smart, committed, informed people of all ages and backgrounds, all giving their time and energy, all working for change, and for justice. Many of them left for Ohio and Pennsylvania last Thursday and Friday, carrying our hopes and prayers with them.
We all worked so hard, and we all wanted this so badly. The only bright spot is that the organization and activism and energy will continue. There will be no stopping us. As we often chant: A people united will never be defeated.
We had 100 phones going for 14.5 solid hours. We even had a system for floaters to sub in when callers took breaks, so we didn't lose any phone time. The tech staff said we were calling at a rate of 15,000 calls per hour. By the end of the night we had logged 275,000 calls.
We called registered Democrats in New Hampshire, Ohio, New Mexico and Oregon, mostly making sure people had voted, but also trouble-shooting and giving out phone numbers for voting problems. I arranged rides to the polls for three people, including an elderly woman in Ohio who desperately wanted to vote and feared she wouldn't be able to.
Mostly I did training - lots and lots of training. I trained groups of 5, or 10, or 20. I think I did 8 or maybe 10 sessions over the course of the day. In between training sessions, I'd help supervise the floor, walking around answering questions, helping volunteers, offering water, running around doing whatever needed to be done.
Allan arrived around 5:00 p.m. (wearing his B cap) and helped out with supervising and some phoning. I'm glad he got to see where I've been living for the past few months and meet the amazing people I've been working with.
The energy in the room was astounding. There were TVs on all over, and as the night went on, tension mounted, but there was so much hope.
When we finally cleared out the room and left at 11 p.m., people were gathering at various bars, but I was utterly exhausted and needed to be home. Lying on the couch, I felt nearly sick with exhaustion, my joints throbbing. Watching the returns was agonizing. At 2:30 a.m., nearing the 24-hour mark, I took a sleeping pill and went to bed.
This morning I saw the "breaking news" crawl on CNN and turned on the sound just in time to learn that Kerry was conceding. I ran into the bedroom. "Allan, wake up, wake up, Kerry is conceding. He's conceding!" and then I burst into tears. Watching the concession speech later in the day, I start to sob.
Today I am thinking of my comrades from the call center - June, Betsy and Kate, Ramon and Ann, and all the volunteers I've come to know over these months, people like Alex and Bob and Bruce and Bill and Rita and . . . Smart, committed, informed people of all ages and backgrounds, all giving their time and energy, all working for change, and for justice. Many of them left for Ohio and Pennsylvania last Thursday and Friday, carrying our hopes and prayers with them.
We all worked so hard, and we all wanted this so badly. The only bright spot is that the organization and activism and energy will continue. There will be no stopping us. As we often chant: A people united will never be defeated.
(not) giving up the fight
It has been suggested that we are leaving when the chips are down.
I'm 43 years old. I've been part of people's movements my entire life, beginning with the civil rights and anti-war movements when I was a small child. I'm sure I'll continue fighting for equality and justice when I live in Canada. Why wouldn't I? I'm an activist, and proud of it. But I don't have to spend the rest of my life fighting a losing battle, feeling like an alien creature, just because this is where I happened to be born.
We also keep hearing that Canada Is Not Perfect. Of course not. It's a country, with a government. It doesn't exist in some parallel utopian universe. Yes, there's a religious right. That's ok. People are entitled to the free expression of their religious beliefs. As far as I can tell, however, they don't hold the Canadian government in their thrall. And as I've asked elsewhere in this blog, when was the last time Canada invaded and occupied a foreign country for no reason?
I'm 43 years old. I've been part of people's movements my entire life, beginning with the civil rights and anti-war movements when I was a small child. I'm sure I'll continue fighting for equality and justice when I live in Canada. Why wouldn't I? I'm an activist, and proud of it. But I don't have to spend the rest of my life fighting a losing battle, feeling like an alien creature, just because this is where I happened to be born.
We also keep hearing that Canada Is Not Perfect. Of course not. It's a country, with a government. It doesn't exist in some parallel utopian universe. Yes, there's a religious right. That's ok. People are entitled to the free expression of their religious beliefs. As far as I can tell, however, they don't hold the Canadian government in their thrall. And as I've asked elsewhere in this blog, when was the last time Canada invaded and occupied a foreign country for no reason?
why unity?
We're told the country needs to heal. We're told we must seek unity.
Why is unity a worthy goal? I won't unite with people who oppose the values I so passionately believe in. I will not link arms under one star-spangled banner with those who are destroying our democracy, who value nothing but profit, who wrap themselves in false patriotism and religion to deceive and control, who recklessly pursue power at any cost, who care so little for human life.
I won't seek common ground with Americans who value a collection of cells more than the autonomy of an adult human being, who would force me to live by religious standards I find ludicrous and absurd, who shred the Constitution to establish a theocracy, but who blithely support the destruction of human life both in their own towns and around the world.
Unity is facsism. March in lockstep, repeat the slogans, watch TV, do as we say. Liberty and justice for those who can afford it, no child left behind if they're already ahead, mission accomplished, but don't show the coffins. We have always been at war with Eurasia. Orange alert, if you haven't done anything wrong, you have nothing to be afraid of, just comply. Trust us, keep shopping, don't ask questions, watch what you say.
Democracy is conflict. Democracy is disagreement, and the change that follows. It is the free exchange of complex ideas. Unity brings complacency and makes us easy to control. Democracy requires us to question authority.
I will not succumb to platitudes about common ground while our country spirals downward, dragging half the world with it.
I do not want my country to heal. I want it to wake from its complacent, consumerist slumber, change direction, and resume the progress towards the fulfillment of its ideals.
I am proud to be a warrior in The Struggle, and I will fight on.
Right now, though, I am still crying.
Why is unity a worthy goal? I won't unite with people who oppose the values I so passionately believe in. I will not link arms under one star-spangled banner with those who are destroying our democracy, who value nothing but profit, who wrap themselves in false patriotism and religion to deceive and control, who recklessly pursue power at any cost, who care so little for human life.
I won't seek common ground with Americans who value a collection of cells more than the autonomy of an adult human being, who would force me to live by religious standards I find ludicrous and absurd, who shred the Constitution to establish a theocracy, but who blithely support the destruction of human life both in their own towns and around the world.
Unity is facsism. March in lockstep, repeat the slogans, watch TV, do as we say. Liberty and justice for those who can afford it, no child left behind if they're already ahead, mission accomplished, but don't show the coffins. We have always been at war with Eurasia. Orange alert, if you haven't done anything wrong, you have nothing to be afraid of, just comply. Trust us, keep shopping, don't ask questions, watch what you say.
Democracy is conflict. Democracy is disagreement, and the change that follows. It is the free exchange of complex ideas. Unity brings complacency and makes us easy to control. Democracy requires us to question authority.
I will not succumb to platitudes about common ground while our country spirals downward, dragging half the world with it.
I do not want my country to heal. I want it to wake from its complacent, consumerist slumber, change direction, and resume the progress towards the fulfillment of its ideals.
I am proud to be a warrior in The Struggle, and I will fight on.
Right now, though, I am still crying.
i despair
I don't want to live in a country where this can happen.
More later. I'll write about our day and night later. Right now I'm too stunned, upset and depressed to write.
More later. I'll write about our day and night later. Right now I'm too stunned, upset and depressed to write.
10.31.2004
the day after tomorrow
Everyone is very nervous.
Everyone I speak to or email with is fearful and anxious. The other day I made some phone calls for ACT's PA trips - the response has been so overwhelming, organizers needed help getting back to everyone who had signed up. All I was doing was giving people info, but a good dozen people took the opportunity to talk about their fear and anxiety.
I do believe we will prevail. Organizers on the ground in OH, PA, Oregon, Colorado and other battleground states are feeling strong and confident. Thousands of polling-place monitors and attorneys and democracy-friendly judges are standing by to protect the integrity of the votes. An army of volunteers will be getting out the vote.
But of course, we don't know. We don't know if enough of the public knows the facts (as opposed to the lies), and will vote in their own self-interest (against W). We don't know if the election will be fair. I believe we will win, but we don't know.
Everyone on the planet, minus some 48% of registered American voters, wants the same result. The world holds its breath.
Everyone I speak to or email with is fearful and anxious. The other day I made some phone calls for ACT's PA trips - the response has been so overwhelming, organizers needed help getting back to everyone who had signed up. All I was doing was giving people info, but a good dozen people took the opportunity to talk about their fear and anxiety.
I do believe we will prevail. Organizers on the ground in OH, PA, Oregon, Colorado and other battleground states are feeling strong and confident. Thousands of polling-place monitors and attorneys and democracy-friendly judges are standing by to protect the integrity of the votes. An army of volunteers will be getting out the vote.
But of course, we don't know. We don't know if enough of the public knows the facts (as opposed to the lies), and will vote in their own self-interest (against W). We don't know if the election will be fair. I believe we will win, but we don't know.
Everyone on the planet, minus some 48% of registered American voters, wants the same result. The world holds its breath.
10.30.2004
kids on wheels
The publishers of New Mobility magazine, to which I contributed for many years, have published the groundbreaking Kids On Wheels. I have many stories on the website, mostly in the "Roll Models" and "Cool Kids On Wheels" sections. (Just enter through the "under construction" message.)
Kids On Wheels is the first-ever resource guide for young people who use wheelchairs and parents and professionals who interact with them. There are two editions, one for kids and one for adults. I wrote the sports chapter and some other profiles for the kids' edition. If the book is successful, a magazine will follow, and I'm hoping to get a regular gig with that as well.
It's a great fit for me, since I have more than a decade of experience writing about disability issues and a life-long love of writing for young people. Writing the sports chapter, I had the opportunity to speak with kids all over the country who use wheelchairs and are doing sports. I had a great time, and I remembered how much I enjoy writing for kids.
Also in print, Allan did several interviews while the Red Sox were shutting down the Yankees and the Cardinals. There were a few good radio spots, including WFAN, the big sports-talk radio station in New York, and an ESPN Radio affiliate in North Carolina. Fortunately, others are in print, and you can read some of them here.
Kids On Wheels is the first-ever resource guide for young people who use wheelchairs and parents and professionals who interact with them. There are two editions, one for kids and one for adults. I wrote the sports chapter and some other profiles for the kids' edition. If the book is successful, a magazine will follow, and I'm hoping to get a regular gig with that as well.
It's a great fit for me, since I have more than a decade of experience writing about disability issues and a life-long love of writing for young people. Writing the sports chapter, I had the opportunity to speak with kids all over the country who use wheelchairs and are doing sports. I had a great time, and I remembered how much I enjoy writing for kids.
Also in print, Allan did several interviews while the Red Sox were shutting down the Yankees and the Cardinals. There were a few good radio spots, including WFAN, the big sports-talk radio station in New York, and an ESPN Radio affiliate in North Carolina. Fortunately, others are in print, and you can read some of them here.
10.28.2004
1903, 1912, 1915, 1916, 1918, 2004
The world looks exactly the same as it did yesterday, but everything has changed. Congratulations to the World Champion Boston Red Sox and their loyal, long-suffering fans.
Congratulations doesn't seem like a strong enough word. For years Allan and I have talked about what it will be like in New England when the Red Sox finally bring home a championship. Now we will find out.
Some Red Sox fan neighbors stopped by last night for hugs and champagne, and told us that their Yankee-fan friends are depressed and angry. Like a Yankees fan has anything to be depressed about. And you know I say that as a lifelong fan - minus 1.5 seasons.
My favorite Yankees fan, Matt, called around midnight to congratulate Allan. Now that's class. Matt and I watched most of the 1986 World Series together; he was 5 years old. Allan was still living in Vermont. We go back a ways.
I'll stop now, as I generally try to keep this blog somewhat focused, and I sense I am babbling. Check out Allan's blog for complete celebration coverage.
And now on to the next victory, the one the whole world awaits.
Congratulations doesn't seem like a strong enough word. For years Allan and I have talked about what it will be like in New England when the Red Sox finally bring home a championship. Now we will find out.
Some Red Sox fan neighbors stopped by last night for hugs and champagne, and told us that their Yankee-fan friends are depressed and angry. Like a Yankees fan has anything to be depressed about. And you know I say that as a lifelong fan - minus 1.5 seasons.
My favorite Yankees fan, Matt, called around midnight to congratulate Allan. Now that's class. Matt and I watched most of the 1986 World Series together; he was 5 years old. Allan was still living in Vermont. We go back a ways.
I'll stop now, as I generally try to keep this blog somewhat focused, and I sense I am babbling. Check out Allan's blog for complete celebration coverage.
And now on to the next victory, the one the whole world awaits.
10.27.2004
some numbers
72. The number of volunteer phone-bankers at the ACT NY campaign this morning. Our biggest day yet.
32,000. The number of phone calls made from one ACT NY call center to Florida voters yesterday. That's from one center, on one day. I'm told NYC is logging more calls than many national campaigns. I love New Yorkers!
41. The number of electoral votes in Pennsylvania (21) and Ohio (20) combined. All going to John Kerry.
85. Days left in the George W. Bush presidency. (Also known as days until John F. Kerry is inaugurated.)
1. The number of wins the Red Sox need to win their first World Series in 86 years.
R.I.P. 1918.
32,000. The number of phone calls made from one ACT NY call center to Florida voters yesterday. That's from one center, on one day. I'm told NYC is logging more calls than many national campaigns. I love New Yorkers!
41. The number of electoral votes in Pennsylvania (21) and Ohio (20) combined. All going to John Kerry.
85. Days left in the George W. Bush presidency. (Also known as days until John F. Kerry is inaugurated.)
1. The number of wins the Red Sox need to win their first World Series in 86 years.
R.I.P. 1918.
10.26.2004
the final week
This is it. One week to go. Phone-banking is going gangbusters. When I started on the morning shift we had 10 or 12 people each day. Last week we had 25-30 a day. Today: 65.
ACT Ohio and ACT PA have changed their outlook from "optimistic" to "confident - as long as we do the work between now and Nov 2". Let's do the work, folks. Here's what to do, in order of priority:
- If you can take four days off, go to Ohio. Free transportation by bus, free hotel. If you want to fly or drive, you can still get the free hotel room.
- If you can't take four days, go to Pennsylvania. Free round-trip buses Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.
If you do either of the above, be sure to get your absentee ballot in right away!
- If you can't travel, join the phone-bank marathon at the SEIU call center. We'll be there from 9:00 a.m. til 11:00 p.m., doing get-out-the-vote calls in every time zone. There'll be a TV on to watch returns, food, people, energy, passion and fun. Join me!
Meanwhile, the Red Sox need two more wins. I think Massachusetts is going to be celebrating big-time.
ACT Ohio and ACT PA have changed their outlook from "optimistic" to "confident - as long as we do the work between now and Nov 2". Let's do the work, folks. Here's what to do, in order of priority:
- If you can take four days off, go to Ohio. Free transportation by bus, free hotel. If you want to fly or drive, you can still get the free hotel room.
- If you can't take four days, go to Pennsylvania. Free round-trip buses Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.
If you do either of the above, be sure to get your absentee ballot in right away!
- If you can't travel, join the phone-bank marathon at the SEIU call center. We'll be there from 9:00 a.m. til 11:00 p.m., doing get-out-the-vote calls in every time zone. There'll be a TV on to watch returns, food, people, energy, passion and fun. Join me!
Meanwhile, the Red Sox need two more wins. I think Massachusetts is going to be celebrating big-time.
10.25.2004
now it can be told: a fan confesses
In the final weeks of the 2003 baseball season, I stopped cheering for the New York Yankees. I didn't plan it. It just happened. To further twist my mind, I started cheering for the Boston Red Sox.
This might seem amusing to many of you reading this, but to me it was very serious. I don't give my loyalty lightly, don't change hats as a team rises and falls in the standings. My team loyalty runs very deep. Being a Yankees fan has been a big part of my identity. When the Yankees won the World Series in 96, 98, 99 (etc.), people I hadn't heard from in years left messages on my answering machine. Casual acquaintances know they can always ask me how the Yankees did last night. (I always know.) Add to that the peculiar circumstances of my home and relationship – that Allan and I have always been diehard fans of rival teams - and the identity grows even stronger. (Somehow the word "rival" is too small to describe the relationship between the Yankees and the Red Sox. Are the Palestinians and Israelis rivals?)
The circumstances that combined to drive me away from the Yankees and into the arms of the Red Sox are complicated and difficult for me to articulate. My friend Regina asked me about it recently, and I stumbled over an answer. She said it made perfect sense, so I'm giving it a shot here.
In no particular order...
The atmosphere at Yankee Stadium. I was tired of being yelled at for not standing for God Bless America, tired of the jet flyovers, the moments of silent prayer, the military marching bands. I was also beyond fed up with the commercials blaring at ear-shattering volume, the "make noise" and "get loud" and TV trivia (and etc. etc. etc.) that makes it impossible to enjoy a ballgame at the Stadium, or for that matter, to talk to the person sitting next to you.
This didn't drive me away from the Yankees, but it did finally stop me from attending games. I used to go to about 15, 20 games a year, plus as many post-season games as I could get my hands on (usually three or four, sometimes more). In 2003, I went to two games, and both times came away discouraged and disgusted. In 2004 I decided not to go at all. (I complain to the team every year, by the way. Not that I expect it to do anything, but they should at least know that many fans feel this way.) Yankee Stadium, where I have experienced so much joy and happiness... and now I hated it there. It made me feel awful.
The 2003 and 2004 Yankees. The Yankees don’t feel like a team to me anymore; they feel like a collection of individuals wearing the same uniform. The 1998 Yankees, team of my heart, were a core group of home-grown players plus a few judicious acquisitions. The 2003 Yankees, and even more so, the 2004 model, is a bunch of name-brand acquisitions doing the job they are paid to do, going about their business, seemingly without bringing any heart or spirit or enjoyment to the task.
The irony of this, of course, is that I used to love Alex Rodriguez. We're talking major crush. When Seattle, and then Texas, would come to town, I'd go to the Stadium with my binoculars: Alex Cam! Thank goodness he doesn't look so good with that receding hairline. Plus he's turned out to be a jerk. Ah well.
The fans. The ignorant, arrogant, egocentric, pigheaded fans who think that the Yankees are preordained to win and the Red Sox preordained to lose. This is horseshit. Also horseshit: that only the Yankees have history, or only Yankees history is worth recounting, that the baseball season ends when the Yankees stop playing. It's not unlike the people chanting "U-S-A" and blindly, stupidly believing the hype called "this is the greatest country on earth".
All fans are, to some extent, hypocritical. Allan can't stand the pro-Yankee announcers on YES, but the NESN announcers refer to the Red Sox as "we" and blatantly root for the team, and that doesn't bother him. Mets fans were up in arms over Clemens beaning Pizza Boy, but they'd give anything to have Clemens pitch for their team. (Not that Roger wants to pitch for a minor league team.) (As you can see, not every shred of my Yankee soul has been expurgated.) Most Yankee fans didn't mind Alex slapping the ball out of Arroyo's glove, but oh my god, if Varitek had done it...!
But even given this, Yankee fans take the hypocritical cake. If the universe doesn't move in their favor 100% of the time, they are howling "it's not fair" and trotting out lame excuses. The last straw, for me, was the hype on the "classy" Yankees fans and the "classless" Red Sox fans. That was just too much. I've seen more games of both teams in more parks than any Yankee fan I personally know. Let me tell you: the fans are the same. There are good and bad of both. Red Sox fans can get ugly, sure – I'm not crazy about the "Ro-ger, Ro-ger"-style pitching taunts – but if you don't know that Yankee fans can get ugly, too, you've never been to Yankee Stadium. If it came down to a tie, I'd give Red Sox fans the edge for sheer loyalty, and Yankee fans the thumbs-down for arrogance.
After the Pedro-Zimmer incident – which I thought was hilarious (as did some other fans I know) - a supposed friend, a former Yankee buddy, railed at me for not being sufficiently outraged. In a rabid email, he ranted: "You can't be on both sides, you have to choose!!!" He said this was a "highly emotional" time and if I had any shred of sympathy for the Red Sox I had better not tell him.
That did it.
That kind of talk should be saved for things like a stolen election, a senseless war, or the death penalty – all of which this guy supports. But THIS – THIS was an outrage! And I had better watch what I say.
Actually, I never really understood Yankee fans' hatred of the Red Sox. I never hated them. (Well, maybe in the late '70s, but I was a kid, what did I know.) Why hate a team that always finishes second to you? I understand Red Sox fans' bitterness towards the Yankees, that makes perfect sense, but why all the anger and bitterness from Yankees fans, if the team is supposedly blessed and will always finish in first place? I hated Seattle (1995), Cleveland (97), ARIZONA!!! (2001) and the Mets (always). But the Red Sox? Why bother?
And then there are the Red Sox. Late in the 2003 season, the team just started to win my heart. The crazy late-inning comebacks, the loose, happy feel, the hugging (as contrasted with Yankee fist-touching), the heart. I love Pedro. What can I say? I just do. Even more amazing to me, considering he was on that evil 1997 Cleveland team, I love Manny. The list goes on. They just grew on me, and I got attached. By the time the playoffs rolled around, I was blatantly – though secretly – rooting for them.
I wanted the Red Sox to win the 2003 pennant as much as I've ever wanted a team to win anything in my life. I wanted Allan to be happy. I wanted all the Yankee fans to SHUT UP. I won't say the Boone home run crushed me as much it did Allan, that's obviously not possible, but it hurt.
But I continued faking it. Along with my long-time Yankees buddy, Matt, I went to the first game of the 2003 World Series, but my heart wasn't in it. When they showed the Boone home run on the scoreboard, I felt sick. I mean literally. I almost started to cry. I hate Grady Little. I hate him for breaking Allan's heart.
But that was last year. I thought it was a short-term illness. When the 2004 season rolled around, I fully expected to return to my normal pinstriped state. I read my Yankee spring-training stories, and settled in on the couch to watch YES while Allan watched NESN in the other room.
I was bored.
I started zoning out during my games, wandering in to where Allan was watching, asking about the score. Before long, we no longer needed a second TV. Yes, after living together nearly 18 years, we are now cheering for the same team! It's been weird, but man, has it been fun.
When the Red Sox were down by three games in the ALCS, I thought, if any team can come back to beat those odds, it's these Red Sox. I took to saying that just because something has never happened before, doesn't it mean it can't happen, or never will. "Never happened before" is an observation about history, not a predictor of the future. My team gave me so much joy for so long. I wanted Allan to have that joy, too.
The only thing really difficult about cheering for the Red Sox in this post-season? Curt Schilling. Or, as I call him, Blabbermouth. A pitcher beats my team in the World Series, I hold a grudge for life. This is a bit confusing.
I don't feel as if I truly deserve to share in the joy when the Red Sox win the World Series this year. I feel a little peculiar, cheering along with fans who have suffered so much for so long. But there I am. I don't know how long this will last. Maybe after we move to Canada, I'll wear my NY cap with pride. Maybe I'll be a fan without a team for the foreseeable future. But for now, "we" (we???) are two wins away.
* * *
Oh, one more thing. Matt: I apologize. I lied to you. I was so confused. I didn't know what else to do. I'm such a nut about this team loyalty thing, I was denying my true feelings even to good friends. If you're reading this, now you know.
If a certain former co-worker is reading this, jumping up and down screaming, "I knew it! I knew it!"... don't burst a blood vessel. Perhaps you can take some comfort in knowing you're part of what pushed me over the edge.
This might seem amusing to many of you reading this, but to me it was very serious. I don't give my loyalty lightly, don't change hats as a team rises and falls in the standings. My team loyalty runs very deep. Being a Yankees fan has been a big part of my identity. When the Yankees won the World Series in 96, 98, 99 (etc.), people I hadn't heard from in years left messages on my answering machine. Casual acquaintances know they can always ask me how the Yankees did last night. (I always know.) Add to that the peculiar circumstances of my home and relationship – that Allan and I have always been diehard fans of rival teams - and the identity grows even stronger. (Somehow the word "rival" is too small to describe the relationship between the Yankees and the Red Sox. Are the Palestinians and Israelis rivals?)
The circumstances that combined to drive me away from the Yankees and into the arms of the Red Sox are complicated and difficult for me to articulate. My friend Regina asked me about it recently, and I stumbled over an answer. She said it made perfect sense, so I'm giving it a shot here.
In no particular order...
The atmosphere at Yankee Stadium. I was tired of being yelled at for not standing for God Bless America, tired of the jet flyovers, the moments of silent prayer, the military marching bands. I was also beyond fed up with the commercials blaring at ear-shattering volume, the "make noise" and "get loud" and TV trivia (and etc. etc. etc.) that makes it impossible to enjoy a ballgame at the Stadium, or for that matter, to talk to the person sitting next to you.
This didn't drive me away from the Yankees, but it did finally stop me from attending games. I used to go to about 15, 20 games a year, plus as many post-season games as I could get my hands on (usually three or four, sometimes more). In 2003, I went to two games, and both times came away discouraged and disgusted. In 2004 I decided not to go at all. (I complain to the team every year, by the way. Not that I expect it to do anything, but they should at least know that many fans feel this way.) Yankee Stadium, where I have experienced so much joy and happiness... and now I hated it there. It made me feel awful.
The 2003 and 2004 Yankees. The Yankees don’t feel like a team to me anymore; they feel like a collection of individuals wearing the same uniform. The 1998 Yankees, team of my heart, were a core group of home-grown players plus a few judicious acquisitions. The 2003 Yankees, and even more so, the 2004 model, is a bunch of name-brand acquisitions doing the job they are paid to do, going about their business, seemingly without bringing any heart or spirit or enjoyment to the task.
The irony of this, of course, is that I used to love Alex Rodriguez. We're talking major crush. When Seattle, and then Texas, would come to town, I'd go to the Stadium with my binoculars: Alex Cam! Thank goodness he doesn't look so good with that receding hairline. Plus he's turned out to be a jerk. Ah well.
The fans. The ignorant, arrogant, egocentric, pigheaded fans who think that the Yankees are preordained to win and the Red Sox preordained to lose. This is horseshit. Also horseshit: that only the Yankees have history, or only Yankees history is worth recounting, that the baseball season ends when the Yankees stop playing. It's not unlike the people chanting "U-S-A" and blindly, stupidly believing the hype called "this is the greatest country on earth".
All fans are, to some extent, hypocritical. Allan can't stand the pro-Yankee announcers on YES, but the NESN announcers refer to the Red Sox as "we" and blatantly root for the team, and that doesn't bother him. Mets fans were up in arms over Clemens beaning Pizza Boy, but they'd give anything to have Clemens pitch for their team. (Not that Roger wants to pitch for a minor league team.) (As you can see, not every shred of my Yankee soul has been expurgated.) Most Yankee fans didn't mind Alex slapping the ball out of Arroyo's glove, but oh my god, if Varitek had done it...!
But even given this, Yankee fans take the hypocritical cake. If the universe doesn't move in their favor 100% of the time, they are howling "it's not fair" and trotting out lame excuses. The last straw, for me, was the hype on the "classy" Yankees fans and the "classless" Red Sox fans. That was just too much. I've seen more games of both teams in more parks than any Yankee fan I personally know. Let me tell you: the fans are the same. There are good and bad of both. Red Sox fans can get ugly, sure – I'm not crazy about the "Ro-ger, Ro-ger"-style pitching taunts – but if you don't know that Yankee fans can get ugly, too, you've never been to Yankee Stadium. If it came down to a tie, I'd give Red Sox fans the edge for sheer loyalty, and Yankee fans the thumbs-down for arrogance.
After the Pedro-Zimmer incident – which I thought was hilarious (as did some other fans I know) - a supposed friend, a former Yankee buddy, railed at me for not being sufficiently outraged. In a rabid email, he ranted: "You can't be on both sides, you have to choose!!!" He said this was a "highly emotional" time and if I had any shred of sympathy for the Red Sox I had better not tell him.
That did it.
That kind of talk should be saved for things like a stolen election, a senseless war, or the death penalty – all of which this guy supports. But THIS – THIS was an outrage! And I had better watch what I say.
Actually, I never really understood Yankee fans' hatred of the Red Sox. I never hated them. (Well, maybe in the late '70s, but I was a kid, what did I know.) Why hate a team that always finishes second to you? I understand Red Sox fans' bitterness towards the Yankees, that makes perfect sense, but why all the anger and bitterness from Yankees fans, if the team is supposedly blessed and will always finish in first place? I hated Seattle (1995), Cleveland (97), ARIZONA!!! (2001) and the Mets (always). But the Red Sox? Why bother?
And then there are the Red Sox. Late in the 2003 season, the team just started to win my heart. The crazy late-inning comebacks, the loose, happy feel, the hugging (as contrasted with Yankee fist-touching), the heart. I love Pedro. What can I say? I just do. Even more amazing to me, considering he was on that evil 1997 Cleveland team, I love Manny. The list goes on. They just grew on me, and I got attached. By the time the playoffs rolled around, I was blatantly – though secretly – rooting for them.
I wanted the Red Sox to win the 2003 pennant as much as I've ever wanted a team to win anything in my life. I wanted Allan to be happy. I wanted all the Yankee fans to SHUT UP. I won't say the Boone home run crushed me as much it did Allan, that's obviously not possible, but it hurt.
But I continued faking it. Along with my long-time Yankees buddy, Matt, I went to the first game of the 2003 World Series, but my heart wasn't in it. When they showed the Boone home run on the scoreboard, I felt sick. I mean literally. I almost started to cry. I hate Grady Little. I hate him for breaking Allan's heart.
But that was last year. I thought it was a short-term illness. When the 2004 season rolled around, I fully expected to return to my normal pinstriped state. I read my Yankee spring-training stories, and settled in on the couch to watch YES while Allan watched NESN in the other room.
I was bored.
I started zoning out during my games, wandering in to where Allan was watching, asking about the score. Before long, we no longer needed a second TV. Yes, after living together nearly 18 years, we are now cheering for the same team! It's been weird, but man, has it been fun.
When the Red Sox were down by three games in the ALCS, I thought, if any team can come back to beat those odds, it's these Red Sox. I took to saying that just because something has never happened before, doesn't it mean it can't happen, or never will. "Never happened before" is an observation about history, not a predictor of the future. My team gave me so much joy for so long. I wanted Allan to have that joy, too.
The only thing really difficult about cheering for the Red Sox in this post-season? Curt Schilling. Or, as I call him, Blabbermouth. A pitcher beats my team in the World Series, I hold a grudge for life. This is a bit confusing.
I don't feel as if I truly deserve to share in the joy when the Red Sox win the World Series this year. I feel a little peculiar, cheering along with fans who have suffered so much for so long. But there I am. I don't know how long this will last. Maybe after we move to Canada, I'll wear my NY cap with pride. Maybe I'll be a fan without a team for the foreseeable future. But for now, "we" (we???) are two wins away.
* * *
Oh, one more thing. Matt: I apologize. I lied to you. I was so confused. I didn't know what else to do. I'm such a nut about this team loyalty thing, I was denying my true feelings even to good friends. If you're reading this, now you know.
If a certain former co-worker is reading this, jumping up and down screaming, "I knew it! I knew it!"... don't burst a blood vessel. Perhaps you can take some comfort in knowing you're part of what pushed me over the edge.
10.23.2004
contingency plans
When chatting about the upcoming election, several people have told me they are thinking about what they will do should what we dread and fear actually come to pass. They say things like, "I've been thinking about my plan, what I'll do personally, for my own life".
If you have shared those thoughts with me, or if you've had similar thoughts yourself, could I ask you to elaborate? What type of plans are you thinking of? If BushCo is elected, how will you personally change your life? What will you do differently?
Please feel free to leave comments here (anonymously, if you wish) or to email me (link to the right). Thank you.
If you have shared those thoughts with me, or if you've had similar thoughts yourself, could I ask you to elaborate? What type of plans are you thinking of? If BushCo is elected, how will you personally change your life? What will you do differently?
Please feel free to leave comments here (anonymously, if you wish) or to email me (link to the right). Thank you.
"...indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
In his powerful memoir You Can't Be Neutral On A Moving Train, Howard Zinn tells the story of how, when he was teaching at Spelman College, the historically African-American women's college in Atlanta, he participated in an action to allow blacks access to the public libraries in Atlanta. Each day, a couple of polite, well dressed, conservative-looking students from Spelman and its brother school, Morehouse, would walk into the library and ask to take out a book.
They would ask for John Locke's An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, John Stuart Mill's On Liberty, Tom Paine's Common Sense, the Declaration of Independence, or the United States Constitution.
Each day, they were turned away: No Coloreds.
They made it clear to the powers that controlled Atlanta that they would not be giving up. As they were discussing what steps to take next, a phone call came: they had won the battle.
Zinn writes: "I have told about the modest campaign to desegregate Atlanta's libraries because the history of social movements often confines itself to the large events, the pivotal moments. Typically, surveys of the history of the civil rights movement deal with the Supreme Court decision in the Brown case, the Montgomery bus boycott, the march on Washington, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the march from Selma to Montgomery, the Voting Rights Act of 1965.
Missing from such histories are the countless small actions of unknown people that led up to those great moments. When we understand this, we can see that the tiniest acts of protest in which we engage may become the invisible roots of social change."
They would ask for John Locke's An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, John Stuart Mill's On Liberty, Tom Paine's Common Sense, the Declaration of Independence, or the United States Constitution.
Each day, they were turned away: No Coloreds.
They made it clear to the powers that controlled Atlanta that they would not be giving up. As they were discussing what steps to take next, a phone call came: they had won the battle.
Zinn writes: "I have told about the modest campaign to desegregate Atlanta's libraries because the history of social movements often confines itself to the large events, the pivotal moments. Typically, surveys of the history of the civil rights movement deal with the Supreme Court decision in the Brown case, the Montgomery bus boycott, the march on Washington, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the march from Selma to Montgomery, the Voting Rights Act of 1965.
Missing from such histories are the countless small actions of unknown people that led up to those great moments. When we understand this, we can see that the tiniest acts of protest in which we engage may become the invisible roots of social change."
10.22.2004
what i'm reading: you can't be neutral on a moving train by howard zinn
On September 11, 2001, teams of hijackers flew two passenger planes, loaded with jet fuel, into the twin towers of the World Trade Center in downtown Manhattan, and the ensuing catastrophe killed close to three thousand people who were burned or crushed to death as the buildings burst into flames and collapsed.
Like so many others who saw those events on television, I was horrified. And when President George W. Bush immediately announced to the nation that we were now at war, I was horrified again because solving problems with bombs has never worked. It seemed clear to me that this was exactly the wrong response to the act of terrorism that had just occurred. And when, soon after, the United States began bombing Afghanistan, I considered that, if terrorism can be defined as the willingness to kill innocent people for some presumed good cause, this was another form of terrorism -- one I had seen up close many years ago after meeting the survivors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki who also suffered needlessly for an alleged 'good cause'.
In this book I tell of my experience as a bombardier in the Second World War. I describe how I came to the conclusion, after dropping bombs on European cities, and celebrating the victory over fascism, that war, even a "good war," while it may bring immediate relief, cannot solve fundamental human problems. Indeed, the glow of that 'good war' has been used to cast a favorable light over every bad war for the next fifty years, wars in which our government lied to us, and millions of innocent people died.
Howard Zinn, from the preface of You Can't Be Neutral On A Moving Train - A Personal History of Our Times.
Later, the brilliant and ever-inspiring Zinn continues:
"Considering all this, I might be incurably depressed, except for other experiences... What did I learn? That small acts of resistance to authority, if persisted in, may lead to large social movements. That ordinary people are capable of extraordinary acts of courage. That those in power who confidently say 'never' to the possibility of change may live to be embarrassed by those words. That the world of social struggle is full of surprises, as the common moral sense of people germinates invisibly, bubbles up, and at certain points in history brings about victories that may be small, but carry large promise.
* * * *
The willingness to undertake such action cannot be based on certainties, but on those possibilities glimpsed in a reading of history different from the customary painful recounting of human cruelty. In such a reading we can find not only war but resistance to war, not only injustice but rebellion against injustice, not only selfishness but self-sacrifice, not only silence in the face of tyranny but defiance, not only callousness but compassion.
Human beings show a broad spectrum of qualities, but it is the worst of these that are usually emphasized, and the result, too often, is to dishearten us, to diminish our spirit. And yet, historically, that spirit refuses to surrender. History is full of instances where people, against enormous odds, have come together to struggle for liberty and justice, and have won -- not often enough, of course, but enough to suggest how much more is possible."
To say that Howard Zinn is inspiring is not a hollow or trite tribute. He inspires me every day - not just to continue The Struggle, but to continue with hope, and with optimism.
10.21.2004
congratulations to red sox nation
The Boston Red Sox made baseball history. So did the New York Yankees.
Let's have a Massachusetts vs Texas World Series. MA can make a clean sweep: first the World Series, then the White House!
And while we're at it, let's sell some books!!
Let's have a Massachusetts vs Texas World Series. MA can make a clean sweep: first the World Series, then the White House!
And while we're at it, let's sell some books!!
10.19.2004
two weeks to go
The polls are making me sick. Almost literally. I swore I wasn't going to pay attention to the polls, but my relentlessly obsessive thinking about the election gobbles up everything in its path.
Zogby, Gallup, NY Times/CBS, Newsweek/MSNBC... on and on it goes. Those that look too scary, I discard. Those that look hopeful, I cling to. It's ridiculous, because I believe they are meaningless, manipulated, media driven. What's more, we're going to do what we're going to do, regardless. It's not like I'm going to quit in the home stretch because some guy named Rasmussen tells me W is ahead by a statistical sneeze.
But still, I gape at them.
Two weeks to go.
Two weeks - and two games?
Zogby, Gallup, NY Times/CBS, Newsweek/MSNBC... on and on it goes. Those that look too scary, I discard. Those that look hopeful, I cling to. It's ridiculous, because I believe they are meaningless, manipulated, media driven. What's more, we're going to do what we're going to do, regardless. It's not like I'm going to quit in the home stretch because some guy named Rasmussen tells me W is ahead by a statistical sneeze.
But still, I gape at them.
Two weeks to go.
Two weeks - and two games?
10.16.2004
loyalty vs conformity
Once again, I've been accused of "sounding like a Red Sox fan". Last year I wasn't sufficiently outraged at Pedro tossing Zimmer. (I thought it was hilarious!) This year I do not necessarily believe that the Yankees will win and the Red Sox will collapse. In other words, I don't have blind loyalty. My objective assessment of the situation doesn't lead me to the same conclusion, therefore I am not a good fan.
To that I say a quiet but emphatic Go To Hell.
The behavior of most Yankees fans these days absolutely disgusts me. (As did the Red Sox fans chanting "Where Is Roger" in 1999.) We've had so much winning, the Yankees have given us so much to be proud of, yet it seems that most fans can only spew bitterness and hatred. Given the historical lopsided outcome of the rivalry, I don't know what there is to be so mean about.
Red Sox fans' hatred of the Yankees - that makes sense. I'd feel the same way if I were them. But why so much meanness towards the team that has placed second to you for so long? The joy of winning is not the same thing as glee over the other team losing.
To that I say a quiet but emphatic Go To Hell.
The behavior of most Yankees fans these days absolutely disgusts me. (As did the Red Sox fans chanting "Where Is Roger" in 1999.) We've had so much winning, the Yankees have given us so much to be proud of, yet it seems that most fans can only spew bitterness and hatred. Given the historical lopsided outcome of the rivalry, I don't know what there is to be so mean about.
Red Sox fans' hatred of the Yankees - that makes sense. I'd feel the same way if I were them. But why so much meanness towards the team that has placed second to you for so long? The joy of winning is not the same thing as glee over the other team losing.
what i'm reading: william trevor
If you want to discover a great, under-appreciated novelist, try William Trevor. His work his hard to characterize - darkly beautiful, with a pinpoint perception of human motivation. But don't try Fools of Fortune. Bleh. Read Felicia's Journey, Death in Summer, or the haunting and heartbreaking The Story of Lucy Gault.
Fools of Fortune goes back to the library today, and I'll start Pat Barker.
Fools of Fortune goes back to the library today, and I'll start Pat Barker.
what i'm doing
Sigh. I swore this wasn't going to turn into What I Did Today. But it seems that once one is blogging, the impulse to record more about one's life is very strong. Also, it's already an easy and convenient way to update friends I don't see or speak to often, even before the move. So it seems I have succumbed.
I will, however, keep these entries brief, and give them an easily identifiable headline so they're easy to skip over if they bore you to pieces.
So what am I doing?
- I'm leading (along with another wonderful volunteer and generally cool person) an ACT phone banking crew every morning except Monday. It's terrific - very upbeat, I get to be around liberal or progressive activist/volunteers every day, and it gives me an outlet through which to channel my zeal about the election. All that while helping Kerry win the all-important state of Ohio. Great stuff, I highly recommend it.
We're doing a get-out-the-vote marathon on Election Day, calling every time zone. We'll be there from 9:00 am until 11:00 pm, and I'll be there all day if I can talk Allan into watching the returns from the SEIU call center. (If not, I'll leave at 5:00.) Callers are signing up for 2- or 3-hour shifts.
- I'm glued to the playoffs. Right now the Yankees are up two games to none, and most Yankee fans have the Red Sox dead to rites. I am not among them. In 1996 the Yankees lost the first two games of the World Series at home, then went on to win the next four. In 1986 the Mets did the same, though it famously took a fateful seventh game in that one. If any team can pull this off, it's the 04 Red Sox. We shall see.
- Buster has a problem with his eyes. After several trips to the vet and countless tubes of antibiotic ointment, we took him to a veterinary ophthalmologist and learned he has dangerously high pressure in his eyes, putting him at high risk for glaucoma. In an amazing coincidence, the symptoms he was experiencing were unrelated to this! Typically with glaucoma, there are no symptoms until it's too late to save the animal's eyesight. Wow, scary.
He also has uveitis (inflammation) in both eyes, also not good, but not nearly as serious as the pressure. It was the uveitis that caused us to see the specialist, and that's how she found the high pressure.
Poor B, it was such an ordeal for him, being in a strange place, the doctor doing all kinds of tests and scary-looking things to his eyes. One exhausting morning and $850 later (ouch!), we are administering two different eyedrops three times a day, and waiting for a follow-up appointment. His blood test results came back negative, which means there is no underlying disease causing the problem. I am hugely relieved about that.
- I bought a new desktop computer, my old one showing signs of imminent demise. It's fast and zippy, I finally have a flat panel monitor, and I love it.
- My handheld organizer is dying. Again. It's the third or fourth Wizard I've had. I love them but they are not durable. Also, I'm hot to get portable wireless internet access. My good friend Alan K (and who is anonymously quoted several times in this blog) is helping me choose a "pocket PC". He is, in his own words, foaming at the mouth about his, a true evangelist, and I am an enthusiastic, if somewhat ignorant, disciple. I shouldn't spend the money, given the two expenses above, so I'm a little conflicted about that. But you know me, the Queen of Rationalization. If I want to do something, I'll find a way to feel ok about it.
That's about it.
10.10.2004
what i'm reading: chris crutcher, pat barker, graham greene, all quiet on the western front
I finally finished The Power Broker. (See this entry.) I highly recommend you take a few month's worth of reading time to tackle this truly great book.
Needing a break, I read two young-adult novels by the terrific YA writer Chris Crutcher: Staying Fat For Sarah Byrnes and Ironman. Like a lot of good YA novelists, Crutcher's work becomes a little repetitious if you read too many at once, but presumably young readers are not doing that.
Since then, I've been casting about, novel-less. I started Reading Lolita In Tehran, a gift from a friend, but couldn't get into it. It looks very good, and I love the idea of exploring the relationship between fiction and our lives, but it's not the right time.
On a break from work today, I went to the library and took out three novels: Fools Of Fortune by the wonderful and under-rated Irish author William Trevor, Double Vision by Pat Barker, who wrote the Regeneration Trilogy, and The Road Home, by Jim Harrison.
Last year, during the run-up to the US's invasion of Iraq, I was thinking (as I'm sure many people of conscience were) a lot about war. Not in political or theoretical terms, but trying to imagine the reality of war itself. I kept thinking of the line from the civil rights and peace song "Down By The Riverside": ain't gonna study war no more. That stuck in my head: study war. I thought I would.
I read Pat Barker's trilogy about World War I, known as the Regeneration Trilogy: Regeneration, The Eye In The Door, and The Ghost Road. Barker explores the psychological after-effects of war on both soldiers and civilians, the erosion of civil liberties at home during a war abroad, class issues, and how a civilian population is manipulated to approve of war. In England, WWI also saw rampant anti-gay hysteria that associated homosexuality with the German enemy; there's a gay theme throughout. These are three excellent books.
I also read All Quiet On The Western Front, the quintessential anti-war novel. It's almost too brutal, too heartbreaking, to bear, even more so since it's told from the "enemy"'s point of view. I didn't think I was truly a pacifist (against all wars for any reason) but this book made me examine my beliefs further.
The final book in my war series was Graham Greene's The Quiet American, which deals with the roots of US involvement in Vietnam in the late 1950s. It is a positively chilling view of what a CIA-backed coup might look like on the ground level. When I think of all the lives lost from the US's various wars of conquest and containment... well, that's how this blog came to be.
Needing a break, I read two young-adult novels by the terrific YA writer Chris Crutcher: Staying Fat For Sarah Byrnes and Ironman. Like a lot of good YA novelists, Crutcher's work becomes a little repetitious if you read too many at once, but presumably young readers are not doing that.
Since then, I've been casting about, novel-less. I started Reading Lolita In Tehran, a gift from a friend, but couldn't get into it. It looks very good, and I love the idea of exploring the relationship between fiction and our lives, but it's not the right time.
On a break from work today, I went to the library and took out three novels: Fools Of Fortune by the wonderful and under-rated Irish author William Trevor, Double Vision by Pat Barker, who wrote the Regeneration Trilogy, and The Road Home, by Jim Harrison.
Last year, during the run-up to the US's invasion of Iraq, I was thinking (as I'm sure many people of conscience were) a lot about war. Not in political or theoretical terms, but trying to imagine the reality of war itself. I kept thinking of the line from the civil rights and peace song "Down By The Riverside": ain't gonna study war no more. That stuck in my head: study war. I thought I would.
I read Pat Barker's trilogy about World War I, known as the Regeneration Trilogy: Regeneration, The Eye In The Door, and The Ghost Road. Barker explores the psychological after-effects of war on both soldiers and civilians, the erosion of civil liberties at home during a war abroad, class issues, and how a civilian population is manipulated to approve of war. In England, WWI also saw rampant anti-gay hysteria that associated homosexuality with the German enemy; there's a gay theme throughout. These are three excellent books.
I also read All Quiet On The Western Front, the quintessential anti-war novel. It's almost too brutal, too heartbreaking, to bear, even more so since it's told from the "enemy"'s point of view. I didn't think I was truly a pacifist (against all wars for any reason) but this book made me examine my beliefs further.
The final book in my war series was Graham Greene's The Quiet American, which deals with the roots of US involvement in Vietnam in the late 1950s. It is a positively chilling view of what a CIA-backed coup might look like on the ground level. When I think of all the lives lost from the US's various wars of conquest and containment... well, that's how this blog came to be.
10.02.2004
where to go, what to do
Many people are asking me how they can get involved in this final month before the election. I think the best and easiest thing to do is go to this website.
ACT is America Coming Together, the largest voter mobilization project in history. (More info on the national organization here.) It is very well organized and efficient, using volunteer power from all over the country to target the 17 battleground states. Put in your zip code and a reasonable "miles from" number, and all the different options in your area will come up: phone banking at various times and locations, letter writing, road trips, fundraising ideas and so on.
The Scranton Report. Our trip to Scranton, PA this week was exhilirating, exhausting, somewhat frustrating and ultimately very successful. We had some problems, but that's almost a given when doing this work. More importantly, we registered 140 voters and increased awareness of the need to register and to vote. Also, 36 like-minded people traveled together - selflessly donated time and money, shared information and laughs and support, exchanged email addresses - and so became comrades in the battle to reclaim our country. Everyone was extremely appreciative of my organizing efforts. That really meant a lot to me.
So listen, there's only 30 days left. GET MOVING!!
ACT is America Coming Together, the largest voter mobilization project in history. (More info on the national organization here.) It is very well organized and efficient, using volunteer power from all over the country to target the 17 battleground states. Put in your zip code and a reasonable "miles from" number, and all the different options in your area will come up: phone banking at various times and locations, letter writing, road trips, fundraising ideas and so on.
The Scranton Report. Our trip to Scranton, PA this week was exhilirating, exhausting, somewhat frustrating and ultimately very successful. We had some problems, but that's almost a given when doing this work. More importantly, we registered 140 voters and increased awareness of the need to register and to vote. Also, 36 like-minded people traveled together - selflessly donated time and money, shared information and laughs and support, exchanged email addresses - and so became comrades in the battle to reclaim our country. Everyone was extremely appreciative of my organizing efforts. That really meant a lot to me.
So listen, there's only 30 days left. GET MOVING!!
9.25.2004
a piece of my heart
We left some ashes of Gypsy and Clyde at Minnewaska State Park. We loved hiking there with them. Gypsy loved to swim in the lake; it was where we discovered she was a great swimmer! So we scattered some ashes in the lake, and threw some others off a lookout cliff. Allan left little piles on a high stone with a beautiful view of the lake.
I told Buster that he must live forever, and that's final! He's very obedient and always wants to please me, so we'll see.
I told Buster that he must live forever, and that's final! He's very obedient and always wants to please me, so we'll see.
i'm leading a voter registration trip to PA this week
What are you doing to help defeat W? There are many ways to be more involved. Please do more than vote. Please.
the update is no update
Just back from ten days of relaxing in the country, I am dying to check the Buffalo Consulate website to see if there have been any updates, I click on the link and... nothing.
Applications to emigrate to Canada from the US are processed at the Candian Consulate in Buffalo, NY. Buffalo's website had a page called "status of applications", on which it said something like: "We are now creating applications from forms received in in May, 2004 ... We are now processing applications created in October 2003." This was my only clue of how long the current wait time is. And they took it away! Now what will I obsess over?
Of course the status of our application is only channel one of my three-pronged obsessions. The other two? Do you even have to ask?
Applications to emigrate to Canada from the US are processed at the Candian Consulate in Buffalo, NY. Buffalo's website had a page called "status of applications", on which it said something like: "We are now creating applications from forms received in in May, 2004 ... We are now processing applications created in October 2003." This was my only clue of how long the current wait time is. And they took it away! Now what will I obsess over?
Of course the status of our application is only channel one of my three-pronged obsessions. The other two? Do you even have to ask?
9.02.2004
i'm on a roll
I had another letter in the NY Times this week. I wish it was this easy to get all my writing published! You can read the letter here.
9.01.2004
our fambly
goofy b enjoys the lawn
serious faces waiting for treats
sweet cody brown
best photo ever: this is buster, a/k/a B
briefly friends
clyde and cody, their one trip together
clyde & cody
action photo
great picture of cody
pack of four
gypsy and clyde in fleischmann, our first trip upstate
pookies in the kitchen
pookies in the bedroom.
clyde contemplates nature
the little munchkin
old butterhead
we make faces at our dogs.
note clyde staring at squirrels.
my favorite picture of gypsy and clyde
upstate
This is our last summer going to the Catskills with our dogs. I'm not sad about it – I'm sure we'll find some wonderful place in Canada, hopefully a cabin in the woods, maybe near a lake – but it does feels momentous.
I still get wistful and nostalgic about our time upstate with Gypsy and Clyde.
We started going to the Catskills because Gypsy couldn’t tolerate the Fourth of July fireworks. It got worse every year, until she actually got sick from the stress. But we knew from shorter excursions that she also had extreme motion sickness, so we didn’t know what to do. Finally we felt we had no choice. We had to sedate her for the car ride and get out of town for Fourth of July weekend. I love the woods and we both hate the beach (at least in summer), and the Catskills are beautiful, quiet and nearby. I read about a bed & breakfast that encouraged guests to bring their dogs, and we set out for Fleischmann, New York. This was 1993.
Much to our surprise, Gypsy had outgrown her car sickness. The bed & breakfast itself wasn’t great (if you're going to invite dogs, you can’t also worry about all your priceless antiques and valuable rugs, no?), but more importantly, we discovered we could travel with the whole pack. In Fleischmann we found an efficiency motel, and that was our move for the following year.
It's funny to think we stayed in a little motel room with a tiny efficiency kitchen and a sort-of porch, just big enough for our two chairs. We would tie the dogs' leashes to the porch railing and sit outside and read. We'd go for hikes in the woods, to the flea market, or let the dogs chase either other around a school yard.
Gypsy and Clyde were great hikers – Gypsy always off the leash, the shepherd, scouting out the trail ahead, turning back to make sure we were following, Clyde always on the leash, so she didn't disappear after a squirrel. Gypsy loved the water; she'd swim in any available pond, stream or puddle. One very hot day while she was standing in a stream, we saw her briefly duck her head into the water, kind of swiping it sideways, something an animal almost never does. Clyde would walk gingerly to the water's edge, just to where her little paws would touch the water, and never go one step further.
Fleischmann itself has beautiful restored Victorian houses, a very old synagogue, a run-down supermarket, and an ancient movie theatre. There’s an auction every Friday night which people come from all over to attend. It's quite the local spectacle: a barn full of beer bellies, bad teeth, black coffee and cigarettes. That’s about it for Fleischmann.
After two summers at the Delaware Court, we realized it was sort of silly to drive all the way down Rt. 28 to stay in a ghost town. There were cabins closer to the Thruway, and they were closer to a real town. On our way home that year we checked out some of the cabins; they all said dogs were ok, and that was our plan for the following summer. (I say summer, but I mean a week at most at the beginning of the summer.)
We rented a little cabin near Phoenicia, New York, either here or next door at Ray’s Cabins, every year for the next five years. The cabins were tiny, but we didn’t care. The surroundings were beautiful, we could sit outside, barbecue, hike in beautiful Minnewaska State Park, pick up a fantastic brick-oven pizza from Brio’s, or watch Gypsy and Clyde chase each other around the lawn. We bought a portable dog run – a big metal corkscrew that you push into the ground, with two 25-feet tethers attached – so the dogs can have freedom but still be safe. We couldn't leave the dogs alone in the cabin – Clyde would tear down the curtains! (What a nut she was!) And there was no place to go anyway. So we spent 24/7 with the girls. They loved it and we loved it. At night, we’d sit on the tiny front porch and listen to the Yankees on the radio, the dogs sacked out at our feet. Lovely memories.
At some point the Fourth of July weekend expanded to a full week, and we managed to do that and still take what I call a "real" vacation, meaning traveling somewhere. We'd take the dogs ahead of the holiday weekend rather than after it. After July 4th it actually got a little crowded, families from Brooklyn, a lot of noisy kids. I remember one year at Ray's some children fell in love with our dogs, all they wanted to do was pet and hug them. Their parents kept apologizing and thanking us for being so tolerant. The parents must have told the kids not to go over to our cabin unless we invited them. First thing in the morning, the kids were standing on their porch, leaning forward, staring bullets at our cabin, waiting, waiting... I barely got the words, 'You can come on over' out of my mouth before they were all over the dogs.
* * * *
In the summer of 1998, driving home on the Thruway, the dogs sleeping peacefully in the back, I started to cry, knowing it was our last summer together. Allan didn't want to believe it, but I knew our aging Gypsy wouldn’t make it to the following summer. Turns out she didn’t see the end of the year. That November, just a few weeks shy of eleven years since we adopted her, she gave up her fight and we had to let her go. I still cry thinking of it. I guess I always will.
In 1999 we stayed in a trailer with Clyde and Cody. We never dreamed it would be Clyde’s last summer. We adopted Cody in April, went upstate in July. In August, we did our "Midwest rust belt" baseball tour. While we were gone, Clyde became fatally ill. She hung on til we got back. More on this story some other time.
These trips upstate meant so much to me. When I was a kid, my family took three-week vacations, traveling trips I remember very fondly, and I went to camp. On my own, I sweated through sweltering city summers, first in Philadelphia then in New York. Once Allan and I lived together, we would spend summers hiding in the air-conditioning, going outside as little as possible. Being able to rent a tiny cabin – being able to give my dogs some country life, even for a week – and still being able to travel in the same year, was a luxury to me, something I never thought I'd be able to do, and deeply appreciated.
* * * *
By the summer of 2000, our family had completely changed: we went upstate with Buster and Cody. Buster was completely freaked out by being in a new place. Our first time up there, he screamed and cried for hours. Hours – and we were right there with him! My god, what was done to this poor animal that he fears the world so. The following summer he was much better – still anxious, but much improved – and now as long as we’re all together, he’s fine. Thanks to training, medication and years of stability, he’s really come such a long way.
In 2001 and 2002, we got a larger cabin in the same place. Even though Buster can never be off his leash, being on the run, tussling on the grass with Cody, was so much fun for him. It made me so happy to see it. But it wasn’t easy to bring Buster to the Phoenicia cabins. There are always other dogs around; we always had to be so vigilant, constantly running him back into the cabin to avoid a meltdown.
We were outgrowing the little cabins anyway, and then they went out of business. This led to a major upgrade: last year we rented a great house for an entire month. My sister was able to lend us a car, and because we didn’t have to rent, we were able to stay for all of June. Yay Judy!
June 2003, our tenth year in the Catskills, was a magical month for me. First, to get out of the city for a whole month (we would just come back for work on the weekends) was incredible. Second, to have a whole house, with a fireplace and a lawn, a loft bedroom, a big kitchen – wow, what a luxury!
The house is completely surrounded by woods, only accessible up a steep gravel drive. Which means… no other dogs around! Buster was able to stay outside all day. We even let them off the run completely, so they could chase each other around the house – literally, in a giant circle around the outside of the house. It was the first time Buster was able to play outside off the leash since we learned of the (ahem) potential consequences. That was really special.
On Friday afternoons we’d drive back to the city, then after work on Sunday night, around 10:00, we'd throw the dogs in the car and go, get to the house around midnight. We'd listen to the end of the ESPN game on the way up. Once we were off the highway, we'd have to keep a sharp eye for deer; we'd usually see at least 4 or 5 on the way to the house, their eyes shining in the headlights.
Can you imagine how ecstatic the dogs were on Sunday nights? The first week we didn't go, they were staring at me. Mommy, aren't you forgetting something?? Major guilt!
This house is beautiful and comfortable – exposed beams, a big fieldstone fireplace, a loft bedroom, 360-degrees window. Since it's surrounded by woods, when you're inside, everywhere you look, you see green leaves. Upstairs, you wake up to sunshine and green trees. It's a short, pretty drive from an excellent grocery store so I can make great dinners and we don't have to go anywhere, and it's much closer to Minnewaska, my favorite place to hike. We also hiked in the Shawangunks, took a "history hike" in the Mohonk Preserve and saw the remains of the Huguenot community that originally settled New Paltz. The tiny village of High Falls has an old tow path, and the ruins of an aqueduct designed by John Roebling. There are tons of historic places in the Catskills. But even though we both love history, and I especially am interested in local history, we've never done most of it – because we're always there with our dogs.
This year we're renting the same house for 2 weeks, missing one weekend of work. And this time, my brother and sister-in-law have a car we can use! Let's hear it for siblings! We're going in September, so it will be a little cooler and hopefully we won't be besieged with mosquitoes like we were last year. I hope it will be cool enough so I can make a fire every night.
I often feel guilty that we do things with Buster and Cody that we were never able to give Gypsy and Clyde. I know we gave them the best lives we could, and I know they were always happy, but still...
Anyway, I'm very excited about going this year, especially since this is our only vacation for the year. I'm not at all sad that it's our last summer, but it does bring back a flood of memories about Gypsy and Clyde. We're going to take some of their ashes up with us and scatter them in Lake Minnewaska, Gypsy's favorite place to swim.
At some point I'll blog about all our dogs, their personalities and what made each of them special, and how each one came to us. For now, I'll just say they are always present in my memories and my heart. The girls. My beloved Gypsy, my best friend (before Buster), so smart it was scary, and a real devil! And Clyde the Dog, little speckle-snout, sweetest dog in the world. Miss you guys.
I still get wistful and nostalgic about our time upstate with Gypsy and Clyde.
We started going to the Catskills because Gypsy couldn’t tolerate the Fourth of July fireworks. It got worse every year, until she actually got sick from the stress. But we knew from shorter excursions that she also had extreme motion sickness, so we didn’t know what to do. Finally we felt we had no choice. We had to sedate her for the car ride and get out of town for Fourth of July weekend. I love the woods and we both hate the beach (at least in summer), and the Catskills are beautiful, quiet and nearby. I read about a bed & breakfast that encouraged guests to bring their dogs, and we set out for Fleischmann, New York. This was 1993.
Much to our surprise, Gypsy had outgrown her car sickness. The bed & breakfast itself wasn’t great (if you're going to invite dogs, you can’t also worry about all your priceless antiques and valuable rugs, no?), but more importantly, we discovered we could travel with the whole pack. In Fleischmann we found an efficiency motel, and that was our move for the following year.
It's funny to think we stayed in a little motel room with a tiny efficiency kitchen and a sort-of porch, just big enough for our two chairs. We would tie the dogs' leashes to the porch railing and sit outside and read. We'd go for hikes in the woods, to the flea market, or let the dogs chase either other around a school yard.
Gypsy and Clyde were great hikers – Gypsy always off the leash, the shepherd, scouting out the trail ahead, turning back to make sure we were following, Clyde always on the leash, so she didn't disappear after a squirrel. Gypsy loved the water; she'd swim in any available pond, stream or puddle. One very hot day while she was standing in a stream, we saw her briefly duck her head into the water, kind of swiping it sideways, something an animal almost never does. Clyde would walk gingerly to the water's edge, just to where her little paws would touch the water, and never go one step further.
Fleischmann itself has beautiful restored Victorian houses, a very old synagogue, a run-down supermarket, and an ancient movie theatre. There’s an auction every Friday night which people come from all over to attend. It's quite the local spectacle: a barn full of beer bellies, bad teeth, black coffee and cigarettes. That’s about it for Fleischmann.
After two summers at the Delaware Court, we realized it was sort of silly to drive all the way down Rt. 28 to stay in a ghost town. There were cabins closer to the Thruway, and they were closer to a real town. On our way home that year we checked out some of the cabins; they all said dogs were ok, and that was our plan for the following summer. (I say summer, but I mean a week at most at the beginning of the summer.)
We rented a little cabin near Phoenicia, New York, either here or next door at Ray’s Cabins, every year for the next five years. The cabins were tiny, but we didn’t care. The surroundings were beautiful, we could sit outside, barbecue, hike in beautiful Minnewaska State Park, pick up a fantastic brick-oven pizza from Brio’s, or watch Gypsy and Clyde chase each other around the lawn. We bought a portable dog run – a big metal corkscrew that you push into the ground, with two 25-feet tethers attached – so the dogs can have freedom but still be safe. We couldn't leave the dogs alone in the cabin – Clyde would tear down the curtains! (What a nut she was!) And there was no place to go anyway. So we spent 24/7 with the girls. They loved it and we loved it. At night, we’d sit on the tiny front porch and listen to the Yankees on the radio, the dogs sacked out at our feet. Lovely memories.
At some point the Fourth of July weekend expanded to a full week, and we managed to do that and still take what I call a "real" vacation, meaning traveling somewhere. We'd take the dogs ahead of the holiday weekend rather than after it. After July 4th it actually got a little crowded, families from Brooklyn, a lot of noisy kids. I remember one year at Ray's some children fell in love with our dogs, all they wanted to do was pet and hug them. Their parents kept apologizing and thanking us for being so tolerant. The parents must have told the kids not to go over to our cabin unless we invited them. First thing in the morning, the kids were standing on their porch, leaning forward, staring bullets at our cabin, waiting, waiting... I barely got the words, 'You can come on over' out of my mouth before they were all over the dogs.
* * * *
In the summer of 1998, driving home on the Thruway, the dogs sleeping peacefully in the back, I started to cry, knowing it was our last summer together. Allan didn't want to believe it, but I knew our aging Gypsy wouldn’t make it to the following summer. Turns out she didn’t see the end of the year. That November, just a few weeks shy of eleven years since we adopted her, she gave up her fight and we had to let her go. I still cry thinking of it. I guess I always will.
In 1999 we stayed in a trailer with Clyde and Cody. We never dreamed it would be Clyde’s last summer. We adopted Cody in April, went upstate in July. In August, we did our "Midwest rust belt" baseball tour. While we were gone, Clyde became fatally ill. She hung on til we got back. More on this story some other time.
These trips upstate meant so much to me. When I was a kid, my family took three-week vacations, traveling trips I remember very fondly, and I went to camp. On my own, I sweated through sweltering city summers, first in Philadelphia then in New York. Once Allan and I lived together, we would spend summers hiding in the air-conditioning, going outside as little as possible. Being able to rent a tiny cabin – being able to give my dogs some country life, even for a week – and still being able to travel in the same year, was a luxury to me, something I never thought I'd be able to do, and deeply appreciated.
* * * *
By the summer of 2000, our family had completely changed: we went upstate with Buster and Cody. Buster was completely freaked out by being in a new place. Our first time up there, he screamed and cried for hours. Hours – and we were right there with him! My god, what was done to this poor animal that he fears the world so. The following summer he was much better – still anxious, but much improved – and now as long as we’re all together, he’s fine. Thanks to training, medication and years of stability, he’s really come such a long way.
In 2001 and 2002, we got a larger cabin in the same place. Even though Buster can never be off his leash, being on the run, tussling on the grass with Cody, was so much fun for him. It made me so happy to see it. But it wasn’t easy to bring Buster to the Phoenicia cabins. There are always other dogs around; we always had to be so vigilant, constantly running him back into the cabin to avoid a meltdown.
We were outgrowing the little cabins anyway, and then they went out of business. This led to a major upgrade: last year we rented a great house for an entire month. My sister was able to lend us a car, and because we didn’t have to rent, we were able to stay for all of June. Yay Judy!
June 2003, our tenth year in the Catskills, was a magical month for me. First, to get out of the city for a whole month (we would just come back for work on the weekends) was incredible. Second, to have a whole house, with a fireplace and a lawn, a loft bedroom, a big kitchen – wow, what a luxury!
The house is completely surrounded by woods, only accessible up a steep gravel drive. Which means… no other dogs around! Buster was able to stay outside all day. We even let them off the run completely, so they could chase each other around the house – literally, in a giant circle around the outside of the house. It was the first time Buster was able to play outside off the leash since we learned of the (ahem) potential consequences. That was really special.
On Friday afternoons we’d drive back to the city, then after work on Sunday night, around 10:00, we'd throw the dogs in the car and go, get to the house around midnight. We'd listen to the end of the ESPN game on the way up. Once we were off the highway, we'd have to keep a sharp eye for deer; we'd usually see at least 4 or 5 on the way to the house, their eyes shining in the headlights.
Can you imagine how ecstatic the dogs were on Sunday nights? The first week we didn't go, they were staring at me. Mommy, aren't you forgetting something?? Major guilt!
This house is beautiful and comfortable – exposed beams, a big fieldstone fireplace, a loft bedroom, 360-degrees window. Since it's surrounded by woods, when you're inside, everywhere you look, you see green leaves. Upstairs, you wake up to sunshine and green trees. It's a short, pretty drive from an excellent grocery store so I can make great dinners and we don't have to go anywhere, and it's much closer to Minnewaska, my favorite place to hike. We also hiked in the Shawangunks, took a "history hike" in the Mohonk Preserve and saw the remains of the Huguenot community that originally settled New Paltz. The tiny village of High Falls has an old tow path, and the ruins of an aqueduct designed by John Roebling. There are tons of historic places in the Catskills. But even though we both love history, and I especially am interested in local history, we've never done most of it – because we're always there with our dogs.
This year we're renting the same house for 2 weeks, missing one weekend of work. And this time, my brother and sister-in-law have a car we can use! Let's hear it for siblings! We're going in September, so it will be a little cooler and hopefully we won't be besieged with mosquitoes like we were last year. I hope it will be cool enough so I can make a fire every night.
I often feel guilty that we do things with Buster and Cody that we were never able to give Gypsy and Clyde. I know we gave them the best lives we could, and I know they were always happy, but still...
Anyway, I'm very excited about going this year, especially since this is our only vacation for the year. I'm not at all sad that it's our last summer, but it does bring back a flood of memories about Gypsy and Clyde. We're going to take some of their ashes up with us and scatter them in Lake Minnewaska, Gypsy's favorite place to swim.
At some point I'll blog about all our dogs, their personalities and what made each of them special, and how each one came to us. For now, I'll just say they are always present in my memories and my heart. The girls. My beloved Gypsy, my best friend (before Buster), so smart it was scary, and a real devil! And Clyde the Dog, little speckle-snout, sweetest dog in the world. Miss you guys.
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